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Old Oct 01, 2018, 08:32 AM
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MtnTime2896 MtnTime2896 is offline
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I can't trust my head much anymore. My hallucinations are getting worse, as is my paranoia. That's not what bothers me, though. What bothers me is how I am when I'm alone. I go from at least managing my symptoms to falling victim to them.

"I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna ****ing die, just wanna be able to close my and feel alright, but every day I feel like dying, every day I feel like dying" -Jake Hill Josh A, 'Suicidal Thoughts'. I suppose that the only thing I question with this quote is, do I really not want to? If so, why can't I stop feeling like this and fixating on it? On the opposite end, if I wanted to wouldn't I do it? I know I've tried in the past and I know I've been taken over by these thoughts and fixations.

What if that happens again? How will I fight it? How will I survive another bout of this ****? Do I even want to? Should I just give up and throw in the towel? Is there really an escape that isn't final?
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  #2  
Old Oct 01, 2018, 10:43 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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((((((( So leigheas ))))))
I don’t have answers I struggle with much of the same. I hope you’ll keep fighting my friend
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  #3  
Old Oct 01, 2018, 11:58 AM
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Rohag Rohag is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Só leigheas View Post
Is there really an escape that isn't final?
An escape - a kind of "restorative escape" - that isn't final...? I haven't thought about such. This is worth exploration.
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  #4  
Old Oct 01, 2018, 12:30 PM
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MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
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You have been through so much... you can make it. You're strong.
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