[rtrudeau]

Today, my sister had a CD that was mine. i asked for it back. She didn't want to do that. When my father got involved, he had her give it back. My sister kept saying that i gave it to her, and i told her that i wouldnt have done hat. My father kept saying how i was right, how i'm so selflsh that i would never do anything nice or give sumthing to anyone else. He got in my face and i told him to step away. He moved closer. I told him again, and he stayed there, he told me to back off. (he walked toward me in the first place.) When i steped back, he moved closer to me, i put my arm up and he told me to put it down. i said no, and he got up on his toes, hovering over me. i lightly pressed my arm against his chest while gently giving him a push back saying back away from me. He made a fist and hit me in my right arm with it. I had a mark, but my skin is tan and i couldn't see it very well at all. It hurt and still does hurt like hell. the mark is gone. i am glad because we are having a pool party for my sisters birthday this coming weekend. i dont want to explain to people. Not that i wouldn't lie, but i don't like lieing. Well, now what do i do? My father is mean a lot, but when he is nice, he really is nice. And my mom still loves him. He has no idea how i have been feeling lately, but a lot of them are because of him. I am NOT going to talk or interact with him uless its an emergency. At least not untill he says sorry first. What do i do tho? Do i press charges, do i forget it happened like last times, do i just tell someone, and let them use the info how they want? I need some answers fast. We are going on a trip to Washington, D.C. (leaving Sunday) so what do i do.

I took a depression quiz today, i scored a 43. Over time, i have been slipping further into this depression, but i dont know what to do. I have only been seeing Lori every 3 weeks, and wish i saw her more, but i dont know how to say it to my parents. I dont know how to tell them how sad i am, or how to tell Lori either. I have had recurring thoughts of death, and how my life is a waste. All the dreams i used to have, are fading away. Dreams of living in the country, with 3 kids and a wife, and a dog, with horses, and trailbikes, and quads, and snowmobiles. They are leaving. I'm begining to see myself in a wasteland, where its cold, and dark. barley any color, only the darkest of blues, and purples. rain and clouds all day. I feel trapped in m life. a life of hatered and sadness.

Someone help me. I have but only a few freinds in this painful life. The one i love the most and wish to spill my guts to, knows nothing of my pain.
<div class="foot">(Edited by rtrudeau on 07/27/04 11:35 PM.)</div>

[rtrudeau]

Its been almost a half hour, and 7 views, but no replies. why dont people help! I'm sad, and alone.
<div class="foot">(Edited by rtrudeau on 07/28/04 00:00 AM.)</div>

[dalila]

Mainly I don't know what to say. Perhaps you could print out this post and mail it to Lori? or hand it to mom and dad?

~D~

[dexter]

rt I think you should tell someone.

I am not a parent and there may be differing views on disciplining kids but hitting with a fist is definitely not appropriate, nor was this a punishment to teach a lesson, it was outright mean, it sounds like he felt challenged by you and felt he had to prove something. That's bad enough with two men in a bar but if he acts that way with his young son I think something is definitely wrong there.

It is likely that this is only going to get worse. It certainly isn't going to get better on its own. In the meantime it is really troubling you and effecting your life and wellbeing.

I really have no idea on the scale of things how serious this behavior is (i.e. intervention by a family service, counseling for him, somethign in between) but telling someone who is closer to the situation and has more experience can help figure out what would be the right thing to do.

The one thing that is certain is that it is causing you emotional pain and there is no reason you should have to hide that when help is available.

Good luck.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[(JD)]

sorry...I went off site early last night...

is Lori your T? (I'm a bit depressed... and have trouble focusing)

If you have a T, go ahead and call and ask what you should do... at least let someone IRL know that this happened...

what about your mother? now is the time to tell... before anything has time to escalate... or with him? like, that was a bad scene last night, is there something we can do to keep it from happening again?... maybe start that discussion in front of your mom?

sometimes when I'm depressed, no, I'm always depressed... but sometimes I give stuff away because I don't care when I do care later and I can't remember doing it but usually I don't argue because I know I can't remember...

but there are some things I KNOW I would never give away because they are just too important to me....



<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

[SeptemberMorn]

"Do i press charges, do i forget it happened like last times"

Has he hit you with his fist before? This is not acceptable in any state even though some states still allow corporal punishment. If you have a T, he/she is mandated by the state to report abuse. If Lori is your T, by all means call her and tell her what happened. You don't have to wait for an appointment.

Some fathers, when their sons reach the teenage years, get that Alpha Male instinct but to hit you with his fist is unacceptable! He needs to learn to deal with his anger and you need to learn to speak up for yourself regardless of how scared you may be of him. Don't confuse respect with fear, either. Tell someone!




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>