[piggy momma]

That's it. That's my whole question. I want to do it. I'm afraid of screwing up and losing everything. I can't deal with this anymore.

Do you have any family to hold on for?

My furbaby Tigger is the reason I haven't done anything to myself (even if I do want to see my other furbaby at rainbow bridge called Ebony again)

[themagicman]

I'm so sorry that your hurting so much. I know what your going through..I wished that I could say something so the pain would go away...Love you..

[Mopey]

Originally Posted by piggy momma

That's it. That's my whole question. I want to do it. I'm afraid of screwing up and losing everything. I can't deal with this anymore.

I may be misremembering but didn't you have a situation where your professor and therapist were one and the same? Did something just happen with that?

Or with something else?

[SlumberKitty]

I don't know. I feel the same way today. I'm thinking of going to the hospital tonight. Just to stay safe. We just have to keep going to get through another day and wait for that day to get better. Hang in there. Kit.

[Fuzzybear]

[piggy momma]

I am so tired. Tired of hanging on long past the point I should have. I just want it over.

[SlumberKitty]

I hear you and I'm sorry that you are hurting so much. I feel it too. But we just have to summon up that inner strength and hang in there and go to the hospital if we need to. Kit.

[MtnTime2896]

I've been trying to find the words to reply all day. This question hasn't left my mind for personal and non personal reasons. Personally, I feel myself reaching this point, again. Notice how I say "again"; it's an ongoing fight and sometimes it's harder than others. The only thing that keeps me going is reminding myself that nothing will ever stay really good or really bad, there's always going to be regression to the mean. I don't know if this will help you. Truth is, I have no real advice or wise words but I care. That's all I got. So PM me whenever, I'm pretty good at listening. Be easy on yourself.

(((((piggy momma)))))

[MickeyCheeky]

Just think that this feeling is temporary... it doesn't have to last forever. There's still hope

[Sunflower123]

I’m right there with you today. Please hang in there. Things will start looking up. Hold on.

[piggy momma]

I had therapy yesterday and I was still pretty low from Monday, but not dangerously low.

It was a scary session because my T asked why we're continuing when nothing is changing. I was sure he was going to fire me right then and there. But he didn't. But I'm still afraid he will soon.

For now I am hanging on. I am depressed and frustrated and not sure I want to hang on, but I'm also not sure that dying is the best option, right now.

So here I sit...hanging on.

[Sunflower123]

I’m glad you are feeling better. Keep hanging in there.

[Evaluna]

I'm fighting the same feelings. The only thing that stops me is my daughter. I'm a single mum and we've just got each other, there's no other family living nearby to help. Find something you can focus on, a real reason to be here and keep going. We are a hell of a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for.xx

[Mopey]

Originally Posted by piggy momma

I had therapy yesterday and I was still pretty low from Monday, but not dangerously low.

It was a scary session because my T asked why we're continuing when nothing is changing. I was sure he was going to fire me right then and there. But he didn't. But I'm still afraid he will soon.

For now I am hanging on. I am depressed and frustrated and not sure I want to hang on, but I'm also not sure that dying is the best option, right now.

So here I sit...hanging on.

So why is he continuing when "nothing is changing"?

[piggy momma]

Originally Posted by Mopey

So why is he continuing when "nothing is changing"?

Our apps can be erratic - changing every week, trying to get one hour together each week. Sometimes if our apps aren't consist we end up backtracking a lot too and going over old stuff we thought we had put to bed. He is crazy busy, saying Masses, doing funerals, sitting on boards, leading ethics studies, and teaching three university classes, being involved with campus ministry. So all that to say, with everything going on, things aren't changing as quickly as we'd like, but you have to start somewhere. He takes three months off in the summer and we reorganize each fall. Somehow we make it work.

this might not make sense. I took my ambien for the night. Feeling a little better than usual.

[Mopey]

Originally Posted by piggy momma

Our apps can be erratic - changing every week, trying to get one hour together each week. Sometimes if our apps aren't consist we end up backtracking a lot too and going over old stuff we thought we had put to bed. He is crazy busy, saying Masses, doing funerals, sitting on boards, leading ethics studies, and teaching three university classes, being involved with campus ministry. So all that to say, with everything going on, things aren't changing as quickly as we'd like, but you have to start somewhere. He takes three months off in the summer and we reorganize each fall. Somehow we make it work.

this might not make sense. I took my ambien for the night. Feeling a little better than usual.

He sure has a lot to do. Hopefully it includes you now and then.