[MtnTime2896]

I've written and erased post after post. I'm tired of my own whining, I guess. Would I see anyone else's post as just a bunch of whining? No, probably not. I hold myself to a different standard that I'm well aware I can never reach. I'm ashamed of myself always, but these past few days have been worse than the average.

Possible trigger:

I messed up and hurt myself pretty bad, worse than I was intending. Now I have to go to urgent care today because I promised my friend. I might get stitches, or probably antibiotics since I should've gotten this taken care of when it was still fresh. Honestly, I'm too ashamed to let people see it. I'm too upset with myself to let someone try to heal the damage I made.

Lately, I haven't been able to be alone. It's either my friend or family with me, but I had some time last night. I didn't do anything and that's something to be proud of right? Nope. Just more shame, this time shame over losing an opportunity. I'm sick. I know I'm sick, but I can't stop it. I hate that I'm like this. I hate that I can't even trust myself. I shouldn't be this way. I'm such a piece of ****. Can't even work or am I just too lazy? Can't keep myself together for more than a few hours at a time, or am I just overdramatic? "Toughen up buttercup." I've told myself that a lot, not like it helps. Nothing helps. Why does nothing help?

Pull yourself together, Heather

PS I like your Shinigami quote and music found on youtube - wasn't a fan of deathnote movie, but a crafty character following Lite Yagami

[MickeyCheeky]

((((Sò leigheas)))) I'm so sorry you're struggling. You're not being overdramatic and you're not worthless. You're just struggling and that's absolutely not your fault. I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this... I hope you'll go to the hospital soon. Please, take care, my friend. You deserve to live and to have some relief. Remember that we're here for you to listen and support you.

[Fuzzybear]

((((( So leigheas )))))