I need to isolate

Poor sweetpea Ebony was lost cause of us. Grandma will be lost before much longer cause of we wasn't down there to help her. We deserve everything that happens to us.

It isn't your fault Whisper.
These things happen... I'm so sorry my friend! It really sucks. I myself have been struggling with the serious illness of my mum recently.

I do really care about you. Hold on.

THREE stop saying those two words you'll get us in trouble

You're not in trouble Whisper.

We will be if three makes us post those words

You're safe.

Much love to you Whispershadow

Much love to all those who need love today

Our feelings are such a challenge to us...

I am pleased you are all here with us...

Whisper, dear, cats die. People die. This is part of some vast overall plan with which we have very little to do. I’m sure you did your very best for Ebony and are doing your very best for your grandmother, but you are not God and there is absolutely no point in blaming yourself for their misfortunes. Everybody seems to know this but you. Sadly.

((((( Hugs )))))

Whisper, I’m sorry if I got a little caustic with my comments here. It’s one of my pitfalls when I’m trying to make a point. I shouldn’t have done that with a sensitive person like you. I do care about you as do so many people here, and was just trying to get you to see that you were punishing yourself unnecessarily hard for things you have little control over.

it's ok but I'm not blaming myself for things that are out of my control, I could and should of saved Ebony, I could save my grandma by going back down there to live and it's my fault that I got a learning difficulty

even people on this forum think that I'm responsible for having a learning difficulty, I can't say more than that

Well, I wont say more because being pretty new on the forum I certainly don’t know the history of any of these events. I don’t know how you could have saved your Ebony, or why it’s your fault that you have a learning disability, or why it’s your fault that you don’t live with your grandmother. And I certainly don’t want to upset you further.

I wish for you only good things and healing.

Whispershadow please, it's absolutely not your fault! And no one here thinks you're responsible for your learning problems.
You're safe here. We're here to support you and no one thinks you're responsible for anything.

Please don't take her away from me, I'll do anything, you can have all my christmas presents and birthday presents forever if she'll only make it into febuary which is her birthday

I can feel your pain, your prayer touched me deeply Whisper... I'll be thinking of you and your grandma. I truly hope and wish that she'll stay with you longer.

Three won't shut up and keeps saying I'll go to a bad place for all of this

Forum jail doesn't exist.

Will you be there for your kitties tonight Whisper? Are they as scared of fireworks as my cat is? Your fur babies will need you tonight.

Yep Willow's already being nervy *before* the fireworks start going off, she seems to be more like Ebony was (easily anxious about anything new) yet on the flipside of that she's also confident around Tigger and around my family

Tigger's not bothered by fireworks, she just goes looking to see what the lights are through the window then goes hunting one of her toy mousies

First night, Willow hid under the duvet when the fireworks was going off, Ebony would hide on top of the bed from the scary firework monsters, crouch down and pretend if she was silent and still and had her eyes closed the scary firework monsters couldn't get her

I do miss Ebony still

Ebony had a terrible history, her previous scumbags I mean "humans" two of her kittens did survive and got rehomed the vet didn't think Ebony would make it beyond about 2 maybe 3 years, she just about made it to 4 years with me and she was a adult when I got her from rescue so she was maybe 7 maybe older than that when we lost her, hoping she's not hurting any more .

Whisper i want to assure you that you are NOT responsible for the death of poor Ebony or for your grandmothers illness or for any learning problem. Everything is all right. You are perfectly safe

Wow so Ebony lived longer than expected with you! That proves that you've been a wonderful kitty mum! And still are I'm absolutely sure Willow and Tigger are extremely grateful and thankful to you for all your love and care.
What are your plans for today? Are you meeting with someone? Or will you just watch some comedies or New Year programmes on TV?
I'll only be with my parents and watch TV. I'm absolutely fine with that, not missing any kind of party. I'll be probably asleep before the midnight and they'll wake me up to see the fireworks and have a glass of wine

I'm at work tomorrow so will just be staying in, going to bed at the normal time and telling three to sod off and die

Three's a turd and needs to get flushed away

I just wish I could of saved Ebony so she had longer than 4 years with me but that never happened

Ebony, my sweetpea, I remember reading this in a poem years ago, can't remember if there was more of it though and am about to go to bed so not about to google it until after work tomorrow

"If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane I'd walk straight up to heaven and bring you home again"

Beautiful poem.
Good night, Whispershadow. I hope you rest well.

This is the full poem If Tears Could Build A Stairway | Famous Funeral Poems

Truly touching, so much emotion in it.