[Evaluna]

I really didn't want to go to my work Christmas party last night but I made myself go because I haven't been out in months. I'm not ready to socialise in a room full of people, especially when they're drinking and I'm not. It was hell. Normally I can not drink and still have a good time but I'm still not in that good place.
I stayed as long as was acceptable and then I came home on my own and I was so grateful to be home alone. All I'm trying to focus on is that at least I tried, but failed miserably.

[Mopey]

That's failure????? It sure isn't failure in my book. That takes guts! I'm glad when you got home you felt relief. I always do when I leave a party. (Of course, I want to leave the minute I get there, or actually, before I ever go! LOL

[rise13eyond]

I agree with Mopey. Being in in a very emotionally low place makes doing anything really hard, and the fact that you went despite that has got to count for double. It's kind of like being brave. It's not so much a lack of fear as it is pushing through despite that fear. One thing I think you have to do to work your way up to that level you want to be at is ti take baby steps. At first you might just make a phone call, then after you do that you get outside for a bit, then gradually spend more time out until you feel you can keep yourself together and do all that socializing. It's a step by step process and sometimes it takes a very long time. But even so, there's no shame in being introverted. Not everyone is s social butterfly and that's perfectly fine.

[mountainstream]

[MickeyCheeky]

That's NOT a failure, Evaluna! In fact, you've been very brave to step out of your comfort zone. Even if it was just for a little while, you're still making progress. Hopefully next time it will be a little better. If it doesn't, that's ok. You're still learning and growing, so please take baby steps and don't be so hard on yourself. You're stronger than you think!

[Fuzzybear]