[itsjustme111]

I know that ending a life wont help matters. I know it would be hard for my kids. I guess I am just at a road block, I keep hitting them. My last post was not a suicide post by any means. Yes, I think about it everyday and I try not to. I am just getting by at this time and struggling to do so. The self abuse is what helps get me by. The sadness is taking over, I do not want to go for help. I can't at this time. This may be hard to understand but because of the divorce and custody issues that I am dealing with, my health records will harm me if I get help. My ex is going after all of my records. If I reach out for help, it will be recorded. I have a mental health worker, but have not seen him in a few months, I never made it to my last appointment. This is my fear. I know in my heart that if I do not deal with this, I will be in serious trouble. I know I am going under. I am truly scared of what I am doing to myself but I do not know what to do at this time. Thank-you to everyone who reads this and those whom have responded to my last post.
Elizabeth

[shakes]

Elizabeth,
Please listen to me. You need to find help now! Your health records are confidential, which means regardless of what your ex says he cannot get ahold of your private health records unless you give him permission. Suicide help lines are also confidential. You cannot keep going like this. You say that you want to be there for your children but you cannot be if you commit suicide or if you continue to feel this way.

Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>

[dexter]

As shakes says, your health records should not be an issue. Getting treatment for an illness shows that you will work to keep your health so as to be able to take care of your kids. Hiding the illness may seem like a good idea, but in the long run who will it benefit? You will continue suffering and you won't be able to be the mother that your children deserve... with treatment you can accomplish that.

Depression makes us feel as if treatment is hopeless, will have bad consequenses, won't help, will cause problems. That is the way depression lies to us. The most important thing is for you to feel well! With that you will have the confidence, strength, and energy to fight for your rights... strength that you have but that the depression keeps hidden for you.

Call your health worker for his advice. Let him reassure you that your records are confidential, and that it won't hurt your chances for custody. Once you are better informed you will feel more comfortable making the right decision.

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--http://www.idexter.com