Originally Posted by Rose76

I feel sick.

(((((Rose)))))
Get well soon.

I’m so unhappy. And there’s no point. I lost everyone.

I can’t speak. I will be alone forever.

No one will help me. I need someone to trust. There’s no one out there for me. I can’t do this anymore.

[Sunflower123]

I have a therapy appointment at 3:00 and I don’t want to go. I expected the first meeting last week to be a general question and answer session...kind of getting to know each other. We ended up jumping straight into one of my deepest issues.

I am eternally grateful for the breakthrough but I feel vulnerable and uncomfortable right now about going back. I’ll go. I don’t think my family would let me skip out anyway.

So happy having my daughter home for the summer. Lots of fun stuff planned. The really great part is that she is taking care of her dog while she is here so I slept all night without a dog waking me up between 2-5 am. Heavenly!

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

[Rose76]

I made progress yesterday. I was tired today, but even a little progress will be something.

Thank you, Desiree. I'm better than I was.

[will19]

A lot was going on today. But a very tense day. It seemed like people were in bad moods. That affects me a lot.

I had a little difficulty with the Escrow company later this afternoon. I received a call that surprised me and not in a very good way. First of all, last week I got a call from a woman whom I have been dealing with and she's pretty nice. She told me she had called my former mortgage company to get a statement that my mortgage has been all paid off. Last week she told me that the mortgage company had closed for the day. I then told her I would call them the next day and get the statement myself. I called the mortgage company last Friday and they told me that they will send me, by regular mail, the statement. I emailed back to that woman at the Escrow company of what the mortgage company told me. I never heard back from the woman at the Escrow company.

As of now I had not received that statement from the mortgage company, so today I emailed to the woman at the Escrow company explaining what happened. Later in the afternoon I got a call from her boss and she was asking me about that statement. I explained it to her. And then she asked me to get in touch with the mortgage company. She seemed very bossy when she demanded that I call the mortgage company. I didn't care for that.

After work I took a bike ride and went to the pool area and it was alright.

[will19]

Today was a pretty nice day at work. People seemed to be in good moods. There was a new chair exchange for those who wanted new chairs.

Later in the morning, I got a scare as I had looked at a web site that lists Fire and Ambulance calls. There was an item saying "structure fire, apartment" and the address was at where I live! I took time out from work to go home and see what was going on. I was worried sick! Well, I got to where I live and didn't see anything! Maybe it was a false alarm. Well, thank goodness it didn't turn out to be anything!

Later this afternoon I had dreaded thoughts and remorse about making my move next week. At times my inner voice (or snake!) was telling me that I made a terrible mistake. I suppose that kind of feeling is going to follow me for a while. I can't wait to get this bloody thing over with.

[will19]

Woke up feeling pretty weird. I felt better after breakfast. Was very busy with cleaning and shopping. I did all of that in the morning. This afternoon I spent a little more than an hour throwing stuff away at my place that I don't need anymore. I felt like I did more than I thought I would.

Tomorrow I plan to do some more discarding of items I don't need. Starting Monday I will work on packing. I'm feeling kind of scared and sad about leaving my place. I don't know why. For the last few years or so, and especially lately, I just don't like the place I live at.

[will19]

I got up early this morning. After breakfast I made my spaghetti sauce and then I did a lot more cleaning out of old junk that I didn't need. I finally finished by noon. After lunch I went to a couple of places to give stuff away. One place was a paint store to get rid of the paint that I had. Thank goodness they were able to do that for me and it was so convenient! After that I went to a Goodwill Donation Center and gave away the rice cooker, small slow cooker, and an air popper for popcorn.

So now I'm ready to pack up. I'm still having some feelings of remorse about it. I emailed my friend telling him that I'm moving. He wished me the best, which meant a lot to me considering that he's been all against this.

[Rose76]

I'm okay. Not real good, but not really bad.

Originally Posted by Rose76

I'm okay. Not real good, but not really bad.

Hugs to you Rose.

[will19]

Today is the first day of my week off. I have been very busy packing. I will try to complete the packing today. I will have all day tomorrow, but I have some errands to do, and that would get in the way if I haven't completed my packing by then.

This morning a woman neighbor of mine left me a note on my door. It was very nice. She told me that she will miss me.

Wednesday is the big day for me. I will be moving. I hope it goes well.

[will19]

I woke up this morning feeling very anxious and weird. Late yesterday afternoon I had a bit of a scare as the buyer of my place told me that there were some concerns with the home inspection and that the sale would be reduced to a few thousand dollars. Well, it's not that bad as they will fix it and it could have been much worse. So I felt like I had an emotional hangover from that into this morning.

I got things all together now but some things will have to remain intact for now until tomorrow morning. I spoke to my friend last night and he seemed OK about me moving. But I know that he's all against it. This morning I disappointed him a little bit because I was going to sell him my step ladder. But I can't because it won't fit in my car. He thought that I had the van but I told him I'm not getting that van until 8 tomorrow morning. I thought that I had already told him that.

Tomorrow is the big day - finally moving out and into another place. I hope my depression won't fog me a whole lot tomorrow like it did this morning.

I'm doing better (yesterday and today).

[Rose76]

Doing fairly okay.

[will19]

I'm pretty much all moved in to my new place. It's nice. I've had some very warm welcomes so far. I'll see how the first night goes as far as sleeping through the night.

Extremely busy today. I was on the go all day and stressed out. I still haven't completed the move yet. I'll finish it up tomorrow.

[Rose76]

Not doing too well. I haven't even brushed my teeth today.

If I ever get to where I can focus on my own wellbeing, I will have a lot of self-rehabilitating to do.

The past week has been difficult beyond words.

I'm severely depressed and I know my whole being is wrong. I don't belong anywhere or with anyone.

I can't sleep. I'm completely ruined. I was born on another planet.

I feel really depressed and I have nothing to do.

and as a result today is going so slowly