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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2015
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#1
There's the old saying that "Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease." I think in my case the treatment is worse than the disease. I am so tired of fighting this. I only see 2 ways out and both terrify me equally. Some days going to the Dr seems more terrifying until I walk to the edge of the Abyss and stare in. I can never work up the courage to take the final step. There have been 2 times I turned away that I could have gone through with it. To this day that is 1 of my biggest regrets.
__________________ It's only paranoia until it happens. Why I don't trust doctors Things You Wish People Understood About Depression I mean what I say & I say what I mean. |
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Anonymous55879, Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky, Mopey, mote.of.soul, Raindropvampire, Skeezyks, T4bbyCat, Thirty shades
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MickeyCheeky
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#2
Well... I've been to the edge several times now. I've jumped twice. Both times I was caught mid-air, so to speak. (In some ways I think it might have been better had I not been. But that's the way it goes.)
I don't see anyone anymore. I never really saw any therapists for any significant period of time. I had a pdoc whom I continued seeing every few months for a while after I was no longer on psych med's. However about a year ago I stopped seeing him as well. So now I'm just hangin' out here sans support. Some days it's fine. Others it seems like a bad idea. But I have no plans to change anything now. I wish I had some suggestions for you that would help. I hope that, in some way, you can find your way to a place where there are better options than feeling terrified at the prospect of seeing the doctor versus falling into the abyss. __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky, mote.of.soul, Thirty shades
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Humpty Dumpty, MickeyCheeky
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: On a wall
Posts: 813
8 365 hugs
given |
#3
Quote:
The difference between a doc and the abyss is after the doc it only gets worse. Once I step into the abyss it's over. That's it. Might be some temporary pain but just like pulling off a band-aid it will go away quickly. __________________ It's only paranoia until it happens. Why I don't trust doctors Things You Wish People Understood About Depression I mean what I say & I say what I mean. |
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Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky, Thirty shades
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MickeyCheeky
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#4
I’ve also found that consulting a doctor makes things worse. I don’t trust them one bit. They were (and still are ) rather “talented” at continuing the abuse I was subjected to by the FOO. And before the “mob with pitchforks” is angered by this.. it is MY experience in MY forest...
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Humpty Dumpty, MickeyCheeky, Thirty shades
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Humpty Dumpty, MickeyCheeky, Thirty shades
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: On a wall
Posts: 813
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#5
Fuzzy if an angry mob comes for you they have to go through me 1st. You are allowed to speak your mind freely no matter how unpopular your opinion is. Which for the record you know where I stand on this.
__________________ It's only paranoia until it happens. Why I don't trust doctors Things You Wish People Understood About Depression I mean what I say & I say what I mean. |
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Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear
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#6
I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Humpty Dumpty You didn't deserve to be treated like this. I'm so sorry you've had bad experienced with doctors. They should be there to help us, but not all of them are able to. Being a doctor requires compassion as well. Not all doctors have it. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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Thirty shades
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Fuzzybear, Humpty Dumpty
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: On a wall
Posts: 813
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#7
Thanks Mickey. I have been dealing with this for most of my life. In the past 5 years it has gotten to the unbearable point. The only thing that I could think would help is if you know how to bring dr. Kevorkian back to life.
__________________ It's only paranoia until it happens. Why I don't trust doctors Things You Wish People Understood About Depression I mean what I say & I say what I mean. |
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Fuzzybear
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#8
Quote:
I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could say that would help but there isn’t. Know that you’re not alone. Many of us struggle to make sense and meaning of our lives... Or to even make it through the day. |
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Fuzzybear, Thirty shades
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#9
Indeed.. he is not alone. I too have been “dealing” with unbearable pain for around the same time period. And for some unknown reason, people love to try to silence me. I’m tired of it. (Not directed at you). I’m only “useful” to provide “support” ... if that. Don’t worry about me, I’m just having another bad day.
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Humpty Dumpty, Thirty shades
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Humpty Dumpty
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: On a wall
Posts: 813
8 365 hugs
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#10
Yeah Fuzzy people don't want to hear about our problems. They only get mad when we talk about it. But we must listen to them and offer advice.
__________________ It's only paranoia until it happens. Why I don't trust doctors Things You Wish People Understood About Depression I mean what I say & I say what I mean. |
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Fuzzybear, Thirty shades
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Magnate
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#11
[QUOTE=Humpty Dumpty;6449087]Don't take this the wrong way but I'm sorry you were caught mid-air.
Now wait a minute, H.D. - I kind of like having Skeezyx around! (Not that I don't know what you meant, of course....) |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,331
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21 81.2k hugs
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#12
Hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs
(((((((( Humpty Dumpty )))))))) __________________ |
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Thirty shades
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,331
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#13
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Humpty Dumpty, Thirty shades
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Magnate
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#14
I have experienced similar. |
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Thirty shades
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