[mulan]

It really sucks that no one recognizes or understands me around me.
Depression since childhood and always top of the class, even at med school. I was so tired of being called lazy all the time when I was suffering in silence and giving the most of me... I believed that and I totally yearn for some recognition on my mental habilities.
I have some now that I am better, but people don't know half from what I went through.

I want to tell someone irl this and be recognized. I need that. But I am not sure people will understand.

Don't want to.be some of the crazy ones.

[little turtle]

mulan are you able to say here what hurt you the most...

[mulan]

Teachers always giving me bad practical classes' grades because I was to quiet, colleagues thinking I was a study mouse, because I had high grades at exams. Thinking I only occupied my time with it, because I barely socialized. And I was dissociated at home, sleeping most of the time and wasting time doing nothing... The good old depression. I could barely study, think or memorize stuff. And I was the best at so much ****, I earned some prizes for best student... So much missunderstood. I had no one to talk to that could see through me.

[downandlonely]

Hi Mulan, I'm sorry you feel so lonely.

Have you ever told anyone irl about the depression. I was scared to do it too, but when I finally told I was able to get help to get better.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by little turtle

mulan are you able to say here what hurt you the most...

Big hugs to you Mulan

Good post from little turtle as always ...

Thanks Mulan for making this post

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by mulan

Teachers always giving me bad practical classes' grades because I was to quiet, colleagues thinking I was a study mouse, because I had high grades at exams. Thinking I only occupied my time with it, because I barely socialized. And I was dissociated at home, sleeping most of the time and wasting time doing nothing... The good old depression. I could barely study, think or memorize stuff. And I was the best at so much ****, I earned some prizes for best student... So much missunderstood. I had no one to talk to that could see through me.

PS (sorry for the “double post”) - I totally get the lonely and so much misunderstood

[CepheidVariable]

Originally Posted by mulan

Teachers always giving me bad practical classes' grades because I was to quiet, colleagues thinking I was a study mouse, because I had high grades at exams. Thinking I only occupied my time with it, because I barely socialized. And I was dissociated at home, sleeping most of the time and wasting time doing nothing... The good old depression. I could barely study, think or memorize stuff. And I was the best at so much ****, I earned some prizes for best student... So much missunderstood. I had no one to talk to that could see through me.

I'm sorry to hear about all that.

People make assumptions. It's how we process the world and get through the day without being overloaded. But when someone different -- outside our experience -- comes along, we can make the wrong assumptions. And some people just aren't very thoughtful or understanding.

I used to get flack and be assumed to be lazy (I even believed it somewhat myself) when it was social anxiety and poor self-esteem that was making me hold back most of the time.

So, although it's not all the same as what you describe, I think I get the difficulties and frustration.

[sarahsweets]

When you say you want recognition what do you mean? Can you give me context? I guess what I'm wondering is if you need recognition from others or if it is more important to have recognition from yourself. Knowing that you yourself approves of who you are.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by little turtle

mulan are you able to say here what hurt you the most...

little turtle

[mikimostar]

Originally Posted by mulan

It really sucks that no one recognizes or understands me around me.
Depression since childhood and always top of the class, even at med school. I was so tired of being called lazy all the time when I was suffering in silence and giving the most of me... I believed that and I totally yearn for some recognition on my mental habilities.
I have some now that I am better, but people don't know half from what I went through.

I want to tell someone irl this and be recognized. I need that. But I am not sure people will understand.

Don't want to.be some of the crazy ones.

Our depression is our strength, my friend. I am one of the best students in school with all my physical and mental illnesses and working full time.

MOre they put me down; harder I go to the top.

[mikimostar]

Originally Posted by mulan

It really sucks that no one recognizes or understands me around me.
Depression since childhood and always top of the class, even at med school. I was so tired of being called lazy all the time when I was suffering in silence and giving the most of me... I believed that and I totally yearn for some recognition on my mental habilities.
I have some now that I am better, but people don't know half from what I went through.

I want to tell someone irl this and be recognized. I need that. But I am not sure people will understand.

Don't want to.be some of the crazy ones.

WE ARE NOT CRAZY. We are people with weakness, nothing else.

If I can send you love, I would. My friend, we are fighters. We are wounded warriors and hardly anyone can see how much we lost blood.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by mikimostar

Our depression is our strength, my friend. I am one of the best students in school with all my physical and mental illnesses and working full time.

MOre they put me down; harder I go to the top.

That sometimes does “work” - some have tried to put me down so much.. I fight back...

I think that depression is our strength in that many of us have more empathy than “normals”

I think it’s great that both of you are both smart and empathic and in the area of medicine/psychology ... more people with empathy and kindness will make this world a better place