[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

I swear I get so angry lately it consumes me. Literally. Earlier I was trying so hard to harness my anger, I was shaking, my heart rate was sped up, I could literally feel my pulse in my tongue, and I had a huge headache - and it made me wanna cry. Had I stuck around in the situation I was in a second longer, I'm not sure what would have happened to me. It was an online thing so the other person had nothing to worry about other than perhaps me losing control of my speech - which I think (not sure) I maintained pretty well up til I left. My parting words were anything but polite or nice.

Does this kind of anger come from depression - perhaps .. maybe anxiety .. or is it just normal and I'm not used to it so it scares the devil outta me?

I really hate being angry like that. I try so hard to reign it in .. bc if I unleash it .. I'm sure it would be quite scary what would happen.

[Mopey]

Classically I think they usually claim it’s the other way around, Crypts — that is, that depression is really anger turned inwards, upon yourself rather than directed to its object. Not that you want to just blast away indiscriminately, of course, but I once had a direct experience of this in a therapy session. I’d gotten depressed after going to visit a friend in the hospital because a bunch of young medical interns had gathered in the hall right outside the ward where people were seriously, even deathly ill, and they were enthusing at the top of their lungs about someone’s beach party, and how great it was, and when were they going to have the next one, and so on. I immediately got depressed, thinking it shouldnt have bothered me, and I was a bore and a wet blanket, etc. When I got to therapy I was really down on myself.

After discussing this with the therapist for a little while, I came to realize I was ANGRY at those people — angry at their thoughtlessness, or at least what I perceived was their thoughtlessness — towards those patients who were right there listening and quite unable to get any rest, much less share in their excitement about an upcoming beach party.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((( Crypts )))))))))

I agree with Mopey’s post. I think if we’ve been treated badly sometimes we turn the “justified” anger in on ourselves which can cause or contribute to depression

I don’t think any emotion is “bad” in itself ... I think it’s possible to still be respectful if feeling angry at someone’s “poor” behaviour, although it isn’t always easy.

I suppose a good therapist could help with this... and keep posting

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

I don't want to disclose too much on this - but it was a blend of protectiveness due to seeing a person being told something thst had every possibilty of harming that person n defensiveness due to being more or less effectively shut up while trying to be protective

[Mopey]

Crypts, I hear you. To put it mildly, not always clear what to do in a given situation! And so you do something, or you don't do something, and if you're like me, and you're not 100% happy with what you did / didn't do, your mind obsesses about it endlessly....

[mountainstream]

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Mopey

Crypts, I hear you. To put it mildly, not always clear what to do in a given situation! And so you do something, or you don't do something, and if you're like me, and you're not 100% happy with what you did / didn't do, your mind obsesses about it endlessly....

No .. I seriously cannot describe this well enough .. I honestly hated myself n wanted to cry even while I was angry .. but I was not so angry, the feeling of anger became who I am.