[Dani Rae]

I recently decided that I wanted to pursue a dual PsyD/MEd in human sexuality. It's actually the only thing I really want to do with my life. I found out yesterday that the program has about a 6% acceptance rate. Now I'm just resigning myself to the fact that I'll never get in. I can't stop going over all of the ways that I think I'm not good enough. I'm getting into a depressive space. I'd rather give up on dreams than try and--in my mind--surely failing. I'm also withdrawing. I don't want to bother either of my only two friends, so here I am writing to strangers on the internet.

[Fuzzybear]

[cryingontheinside]

OK so its hard to get in but still apply , you never know you might get accepted . don't give up . x

[Dani Rae]

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

OK so its hard to get in but still apply , you never know you might get accepted . don't give up . x

While I know that is the rational approach, it just feels pointless to try. Even if I get in, I don't know how I'd ever be able to move, pay for it, do all the work, and survive. I'm sure everyone in my life is sick hearing about it too. So if I give up it will be better for them too.

[downandlonely]

You might not get in if you apply, but if you don't apply you definitely have no shot. If this is your dream, I think you should at least take a chance.

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

You might not get in if you apply, but if you don't apply you definitely have no shot. If this is your dream, I think you should at least take a chance.

I agree with this post . at least you won't look back and wonder what if i applied . if you don't get in your can make new dreams for yourself , never give up x

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

I get very depressed too. Am now actually. Some things though, especially when I am depressed, I simply ask myself "what else have I to lose?"

If the answer is "nothing" and it is not something that needlessly endangers me or someone else - I do it.

Here - you are already hopeless. Should you get denied .. it will seem to validate your hopelessness but effect nothing else - unless you think it would tip you over the edge into suicide.

So - if it is only hopelessness holding you back .. then you have "nothing else to lose" and thus, should apply. If it would effect anything else negatively, you should not.

You know all your circumstances and all your emotions, not me - so that's the best advice I can give.

Probably is not what you want though..

I do hope whatever you do includes being good to yourself. Take care.

[Dani Rae]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

You might not get in if you apply, but if you don't apply you definitely have no shot. If this is your dream, I think you should at least take a chance.

The worst part is that I agree with this, but it doesn't seem to matter. I can know exactly what is happening, why it's happening, what I could do, and still have it make no difference.

I am not sure I would like to do a PhD in chemistry either. And I am still an undergrad.

[Dani Rae]

@Crypts_Of_The_Mind: well I would have wasted a lot of time and spent a couple thousand dollars just to try to get in. I also have no back up plan because it's a really unique program. So if I try and don't get in, I'll have no plan for my future or life.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Dani Rae

@Crypts_Of_The_Mind: well I would have wasted a lot of time and spent a couple thousand dollars just to try to get in. I also have no back up plan because it's a really unique program. So if I try and don't get in, I'll have no plan for my future or life.

At the moment you have no plan either - so, is that a loss?

You can develop a plan while you await a decision. You can develop a plan after the decision. You can develop a plan now. But - you have a narrow time frame to apply.

My point is .. this is actually a part of the plan you have now. If you let the chance slip by, you are allowing your plan to fail and forcing the need for a plan B - the one you don't yet have, but you can still try to make plan A work as you develop a plan B. Sure, you are late on the scene to creating a plan B, but some people never have one at all - and plan A works out. Who is to say your plan A won't work. And if it doesn't.. then, you know next time to be sure you have a plan A and B and possibly C before the time limit to try for plan A expires... but, trying plan A is the only way you can see if it works. Right?

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Dani Rae! I agree with what all the other great, kind, supportive, wise and wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given lots of great, kind, supportive, wise and wonderful advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it as much as you possibly CAN if you want to of course! Please ONLY do that if you want to do it of course! I completely agree with what all the other wise posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! Please DO NOT give up your dream! You can't know for sure whether you'll pass or not if you don't at least try! I understand why you'd feel discouraged but PLEASE NEVER GIVE UP HOPE! At least you won't regret it later in your life, right? Please give it a try if you CAN and WANT TO! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope wiht your feelings! I'm so sorry you're hurting so much! Please NEVER give up hope! Try to HANG ON as much as you possibly CAN! You're NOT a loser! YOU MATTER! YOU ARE WORTH IT! Please keep repeating yourself that until YOU BELIEVE IT because IT IS TRUE! You're AWESOME! You're STRONG! You're a WARRIOR! You're an AWESOME, STRONG WARRIOR! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let us know if there's anything we can do to help you and we'll try our best to do that! WISH YOU GOOD LUCK! Let us know how it goes if you DO decide to give it a shot, ok? Sending many hugs to you, Dani Rae!

[Dani Rae]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Dani Rae! I agree with what all the other great, kind, supportive, wise and wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given lots of great, kind, supportive, wise and wonderful advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it as much as you possibly CAN if you want to of course! Please ONLY do that if you want to do it of course! I completely agree with what all the other wise posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! Please DO NOT give up your dream! You can't know for sure whether you'll pass or not if you don't at least try! I understand why you'd feel discouraged but PLEASE NEVER GIVE UP HOPE! At least you won't regret it later in your life, right? Please give it a try if you CAN and WANT TO! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope wiht your feelings! I'm so sorry you're hurting so much! Please NEVER give up hope! Try to HANG ON as much as you possibly CAN! You're NOT a loser! YOU MATTER! YOU ARE WORTH IT! Please keep repeating yourself that until YOU BELIEVE IT because IT IS TRUE! You're AWESOME! You're STRONG! You're a WARRIOR! You're an AWESOME, STRONG WARRIOR! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let us know if there's anything we can do to help you and we'll try our best to do that! WISH YOU GOOD LUCK! Let us know how it goes if you DO decide to give it a shot, ok? Sending many hugs to you, Dani Rae!

Unfortunately, you don't know any of that. It's too much to allow myself to hope for. I should just be grateful that I haven't been beaten to death for being a trans woman. I want to go into a field that has historically misunderstood, objectified, dehumanized, and perpetuated violence against people like me. They'll just see a freak. There's no point. People like me aren't supposed to succeed. We're supposed to die.