I mother ****ing hate my life right now

I can't live like this. I've had a few med changes and threw in the towel today w meds. I'm on the bare min. But I can't live like this. I need an antidepressant. I am thinking if s and I cannot accomplish my goals in this state. I hate everyone. I can't even tell certain friends. It is SO annoying, their "poor thing" mentality. They are stupid and don't know how to help. So they turn up their eyebrows and fake out a you poor thing horse ****. I cannot live like this. I see my t tomorrow. I will call my psych and tell her I changed my,mind. Also, typing? **** you. I hate the keyboard. I hate having pen pals . I'm not good at it. I'm more a real,life person.

I just needed to get this **** out. Man I hate typing.

Apologies if offensive. But **** life. **** everything. **** typing.

There probably isn't, but let me know if there is anything I can do to help ... including simply shutting up for the time being.

I tried to respond and the site is acting stupid.

Will write later.

..........

It could have been my phone too.

I hope I was not offensive or made anyone feel bad. I value you all. Things were going badly is all and typing is hard. Hugs to you, Cepheid. Hugs you you, Fuzzy.

Hugs You weren’t offensive

None of us are perfect ... especially me

I’m not sure that’s really fair to me (as in me being particularly imperfect) as I try to be the best bear I can..

I personally don’t find bleeping words at all offensive,.. I doubt if many do

Things like “meds” trigger me but that’s not anybody’s fault..

But I’ve found out (the hard way) we can’t know everyone’s triggers especially if they don’t tell us

Just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you, Ptak, and so is everyone else! My inbox and my ears are always open for you! Please don't be hard on yourself! It's NOT your fault if you're going through ALL OF THIS! You didn't ask for it of course and OF COURSE you'd feel better if you just "snap out of it"! Please NEVER give up hope! Try to HANG ON as much as you possibly can! I hope your therapist will be able to HELP YOU OUT one way or another because you DO deserve to get better and to live a truly happy, fulfilling life! YOU DO, OK? You're a STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON! Please keep updating us as much as you possibly CAN if you want to, ok, Ptak? We DO care about you and we DO want to know how things are turning up for you and if they are getting ANY better! WE'LL NEVER ABANDON YOU AND WE'LL NEVER JUDGE YOU! I PROMISE YOU ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE!!!!! You're in my thoughts and prayers, Ptak! Sending many generous, gentle, kind, safe, supportive, warm and WONDERFUL HUGS and MANY HAPPY POSITIVE, SUPPORTIVE THOUGHTS TO YOU, PTAK!!!!!

Love to you all. Thank you Mickey Cheeky. And Fuzzy, I appreciate your condor.

I am doing better. It was med related. And I had some panic attacks. And depression. It was quite miserable. I talked to my T today, and we came up with a plan for that kind of stuff. Hugs to all.

It's okay. You sounded incredibly distraught, not trying to be offensive.

I've had meltdowns. They felt humiliating and degrading for me. So I know what it's like to be overwhelmed.

I didn't want to trigger you or otherwise make things worse, so I was simply letting you know I heard you and was here.

Like Fuzzy said, we can't always know what might trigger you in the moment. It's absolutely okay to tell us what you need. Whether it's advice or encouragement or sympathy or simply to be heard and vent.

I am so glad to hear you are doing better today.

Thanks Ceph. I do not feel humiliated or degraded at all. Sorry that has been your experience. Hugs. I appreciated your hugs. And your messages. Thank you.