[thekingof8]

To start, I'm in my third of four semesters for my 2 year Business-Accounting program. It's been off to a shaky start to say the least. First, I was given the wrong textbooks and I had to scramble to get the correct ones. Now I am way behind in one class and I am thinking of dropping it.

I am also dealing with my wisdom teeth coming in. I have to get them removed on November 5th. For the most part, the pain has been bearable. Being a Type 1 Diabetic and pushing 40 years old, I am a little worried.

I am also looking for a new job. They can't accommodate my schooling and it's too far of a drive.

In addition to that, I moved in with my friend, his gf, and their toddler back in February. I may have mentioned this in another thread, but I'm not sure. Things haven't been going so well. They do nothing but fight and have constant screaming matches. He also brings the little guy downstairs and leaves a mess. One time it took me 3 hours to clean up. Today, they cleaned up for the kid's birthday party and were complaining about dust, spider webs and bits of food and dirt. A lot of that is left behind from the kid. I really had to bite my tongue. I felt bad for my roommate who spent all Sunday cleaning. They don't respect my privacy either. I'm not a poker playing pot head. A couple of weeks ago, I came home from work and they had planned a poker party that night in the basement without telling me and I got upset.

The only thing I can do is move back in with my parents. Honestly, I would rather stay in a homeless shelter or live out of my car. Nothing seems to be going right. Everything just blows up in face when I try to make improvements and it turns out to be an utter failure. I don't know what to do. I some point I have to start seeing some success. This is all too much. Maybe the best thing is to quit or postpone the schooling (I'm being funded through Second Career), quit my job and go back on ODSP.

I'm sick of being a failure.

[Lavenderlilly]

You are trying to go to school and advance yourself, you are not a failure. I know the feeling of not having a secure stable home and how unsettling that feels. If you have to postpone school, can you work more to save up for a different living situation? Or stay in school and tough it out at your friend's for longer? Can you get a school loan to help with getting a different living situation? If your parents will let you stay with them that seems ideal because then you can continue with school and possible still work and save up too? I'm sorry I'm just throwing ideas out there. Most of all I just want to say you are not a failure, again you are trying to advance yourself and sounds like you atleast have on decent friend that has let you stay there, it sucks it's not the best situation there but atleast you have that option.

[sarahsweets]

Hey @thekingof8:
You are NOT: lazy, crazy, stupid, vapid, ugly, dumb, terrible, horrible, awful, horrid, worthless, unworthy, unloveable, useless, evil or insignificant.
You are human,
You have flaws,
You have gifts.

[thekingof8]

It's 3:30 am and I'm wide awake. I have to work at Noon. Everything is falling apart and going off the rails. I wonder if I should shower and go to the ER? But I hate hospitals.

[bpcyclist]

If you are feeling you need to go to the ER, then maybe you should go to the ER and get some assistance. Recognizing that you can't do this all by yourself is a sign of insight and maturity. Good for you! Take care of yourself! We need what we need and sometimes, we need help from the hospital. Be well. And keep us posted.

[Fuzzybear]

[Rose76]

If you can possibly plough through to getting that associate degree, do it - do it - do it!!! Even if it takes you a fifth semester. Git her done!

Your self-esteem will get a permanent, solid boost. Don't drop out. You are no longer young enough to waste time. You ARE young enough to pull together a decent life . . . if you make this tough climb up a steep hill right now. It can be down.

You're tired of life being hard. I don't doubt that you got dealt an unfortunate hand. I totally get not wanting to lived with parents. But the best ticket to self-sufficiency and independence is to suck it up now, nail down that diploma and then walk through the doors that will open up. Give yourself this gift. You will thank you in years to come.

I went back for an associate's degree at age 40. I went through some bad deals over the following couple of years (took me more than 4 semester.) I was living with an alcoholic and had to move out. One of my instructors hated me, and wanted me flunked out. But I figured it was: "Do or Die." Some friends encouraged me. I made it through. It felt like I had swum the English Channel, during a hurricane, chased by sharks. That just made the achievement taste sweeter. Give yourself that gift.