[mountainstream]

I’m usually known as the shy quiet one. Do people think that people who are quiet are “dull” or even are they scared of them? I’ve been thinking of some negative social interactions I’ve experienced and wondering how much of it is about me and how much of it is that I’ve known and or met some very mean and nasty people? I want to change what I can but I don’t think I’ll be a social butterfly..

[Yzen]

I have always been known as the quiet one too. I don't know how more social people view quiet people. I know I have often been overlooked or even ignored in social situations. For me, I actually see quiet people as more interesting than people that are overly talkative and always have something to say. In social situations, I look for the more quiet people to talk to. Maybe that is because I know there is so much to discover when talking to people that are reserved or I relate more with them.

[Thirty shades]

Mountainstream you are a beautiful person AS IS.

You shine here in your posts even when you say very little. It makes your words more powerful when you do speak.

I stand by you side. Being mountainstream is enough.

[zapatoes]

Originally Posted by Yzen

I have always been known as the quiet one too. I don't know how more social people view quiet people. I know I have often been overlooked or even ignored in social situations. For me, I actually see quiet people as more interesting than people that are overly talkative and always have something to say. In social situations, I look for the more quiet people to talk to. Maybe that is because I know there is so much to discover when talking to people that are reserved or I relate more with them.

Agree with you and I am quiet in social situations too and usually like talking to someone else who is quiet, but have had talkative friends too.

[Fuzzybear]

I avoid social interactions if possible. When I don't have a specific thing I need to talk about, like discussing my work with my supervisor, I simply don't know what to say. I am not a "small talk" kind of guy. So, if I am to be found in such situations, for example in a relative wedding, then I would be perceived in one of two ways: either as an idiot when my anxiety and low self-esteem are shown on my facial expressions and body language, or as an arrogant when I try to hide my anxiety behind a mask of calmness but keep quiet and don't open my mouth with any one lest they know I am anxious. Clearly, both perceptions make me socially unapproachable. I prefer to be alone I think because I am not good in social settings and I am OK with it in the most part. I also crave connections, but I don't know how to connect with people in an acceptable way and make them talk to me with respect and not make fool of myself.

[zapatoes]

Originally Posted by Nxious

I avoid social interactions if possible. When I don't have a specific thing I need to talk about, like discussing my work with my supervisor, I simply don't know what to say. I am not a "small talk" kind of guy. So, if I am to be found in such situations, for example in a relative wedding, then I would be perceived in one of two ways: either as an idiot when my anxiety and low self-esteem are shown on my facial expressions and body language, or as an arrogant when I try to hide my anxiety behind a mask of calmness but keep quiet and don't open my mouth with any one lest they know I am anxious. Clearly, both perceptions make me socially unapproachable. I prefer to be alone I think because I am not good in social settings and I am OK with it in the most part. I also crave connections, but I don't know how to connect with people in an acceptable way and make them talk to me with respect and not make fool of myself.

Yes I can definitely relate to what you are saying. In the past there was an episode of Dr Phil where a woman on a date had Dr Phil talking to her secret ear piece that the date could not see and he advised her what to do and say to help the first date go more smoothly, this would be kind of handy for me in social situations and on first dates.

I'm not a social butterfly either. I have an upcoming wedding and I don't look forward to it. These people drink, play loud music, so it's hard to talk anyways. Usually in those situations I try to find someone I'm more comfortable with to sit next to, but I need my space. People don't seem to have that sense of natural boundaries anymore. I used to keep like at least 3 feet distance from people and that was comfortable.

We are all different. I guess personality plays a big role in interactions with others, but essentially, if they don't like the way I am, I don't care anymore. I'm more shy and reserved most of the time. Hugs, you are not a dull person, it's the other persons idea what they want to think. Care for yourself, and not what others might think. Easy said, but i wish you the best.

[MickeyCheeky]

I can relate, @mountainstream. I'm not very Social either! There's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with that in my opinion! It is NOT your fault if other people treat you badly. Please ALWAYS remember that. So no, I don't think yo need to change to be a social butterfly if that's not who you want to be. Being ourselves is already hard enugh! Be kind to yourself, my friend. We're here to listen. My Inbox is always open for you so please don't hesitate to PM me ANYTIME. Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, @mountainstream, and ALL of your Loved Ones!

@mountainstream

I’m shy and quiet too. I think we get stuck in our own heads too much. We take things personally that probably aren’t meant to be personal. We tend to think we are being left out because people think we are boring... when honestly I think WE are the ones feeling bored and seeking our own unique interests. That’s my experience anyway.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by mountainstream

how much of it is about me and how much of it is that I’ve known and or met some very mean and nasty people?

It can be difficult to distinguish a person having a "bad day" reacting with meanness in the moment from a person who is mean in character.

I rely on time and repeated observations to tell me that. Well, that is in theory. In reality I am easily fooled and even manipulated.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Rohag

It can be difficult to distinguish a person having a "bad day" reacting with meanness in the moment from a person who is mean in character.

I rely on time and repeated observations to tell me that. Well, that is in theory. In reality I am easily fooled and even manipulated.

Good post Rohag

I too am easily fooled and even manipulated.

I’m also usually known as the shy quiet one. I’ve been judged as ... all sorts of things.. by mean people who didn’t take the time to get to know me.

I also often find quiet people interesting

Much respect to all in this thread

[Thirty shades]

Originally Posted by Rohag

In reality I am easily fooled and even manipulated.

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I too am easily fooled and even manipulated.

Me too. I am easily fooled and even manipulated.

I am shocked how people manage to fool me with all my years of experience. Yet the shy quiet nice people are shunned

Sending respect and hugs to all