[yalebie]

Hello everyone, thought I'd open a topic about this issue that has been bugging me for as long as I can remember myself and that I can't really figure out.

I am 25 and since being a teenager I have been having these really short depressive episodes when I just feel how meaningless everything is, I lose motivation to do anything, I'm thinking about my plans, to-do lists and I have zero drive to tackle them because it just doesn't have any meaning and nothing matters and life feels really... meaningless. I feel extremely sad during these episodes. Maybe sad is not the right word actually, I feel flat, no emotions, nothing I do is important or has meaning. I have episodes like this approximately once or twice a week and it lasts for approximately 2-5 hours. It goes away after I put some effort into distracting myself, focusing on something else - I would force myself to talk to someone, go somewhere or watch something, read, clean up, anything to stop having these thoughts flowing through my mind. And it works. It does go away. But whenever it comes back, it just feels so heavy, I feel such lack of meaning for everything in life I'm surprised it actually fades away so quickly. I can't see the pattern in what triggers it to come back, seems to be really random.

I don't really understand what it is, it does not meet diagnostic criteria for anything that I know and I doubt that it is an illness. But I want to know what it is so I can actually fight it. Do you have any ideas?

[Skeezyks]

Hello yalebie: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

I'm not a mental health professional. So I can't suggest anything in the way of a diagnosis. However one thing that occurs to me reading your post is the concept of existential depression. Here are links to 3 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject:

What is Existential Depression?

Existential Despair: A Deeper Cause of Human Anxiety

15 Existential Questions that Could Improve Mental Health | NLP Discoveries

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Can relate. For me sometimes it a few hours, as you said. Sometimes it's a day. T suggested tracking it. So will give that a try to see if it unveils anything. Can start the day just fine. Hammer falls the afternoon. Then goes away & I get things done the evening. The unpredictability itself can be depressing

[downandlonely]

Tracking it to see if there's a pattern is a good idea. So is seeing a psychiatrist or therapist. I don't know what the diagnosis is, but it can probably be treated.

[yalebie]

Wow, thanks for the materials! I appreciate it.