I actually don't know what to do anymore....

For a while now my spark for life has been becoming increasingly dimmer but now I just give up. Every single aspect of my life is over. My relationships, my career my happiness..all of it is going wrong. But the most worrying part I don't even care. A while ago if my career was going wrong I'd be determined and prepared to do whatever to make it right again but now I just don't care in the slightest. I feel like I'm drowning and all people can say to me is "you need to snap out of this" or "moping around all day won't help". Well yeah I know that but I can't do anything about it. In the past I've suffered from an eating disorder and I can feel a relapse emerging. I just want to eat less and less so that I can starve myself into oblivion. Or alternatively I just wanna run away. I want to run and run and run until I'm as far away from my problems as I can get, except there's no escape because the problem lies within me. It's like I'm going insane, in fact I think I am insane sometimes I just scream and scream and cry as if I really am crazy. This was never how I planned my life to be but I'm just so trapped. I need help.