I am depressed and panicky and tired and...lonely...the whole day. The pain is so much it almost hurts physically.

I'm in bed most of the time... feeling either the sinking pain of depression or the stinging pain of anxiety. I am so tired the whole day that I can't force myself to exercise indoors beyond 10minutes or make myself go out of the house, even to the local grocers to buy something I fancy eating.

I am still hurting from my boyfriend leaving me end of last year...like a stupid person I still cling to the hope that he may come back to me some day. He gifted me a tv and a refurbished laptop from Amazon India after we broke up... so why would he even care to see if I have something to keep myself busy if he didn't care about me at all?

Finally you know, a friend here at PC told me that he is going to come to India in February. I haven't heard from him since but I hope he does meet me when he visits India. That's something I look forward to...though it may be wrong to hold onto something as flimsy as this...

Well what I am doing now to fight the pain I am going through is this... I am trying to take it one day at a time till next February... and just trying to make it through the day. I make a to-do list each day which I try to follow.

Well that's about it all... but the pain is a lot... I am hurting quite a lot...and at times it seems never ending and impossible to tolerate.

Oh something else I forgot to mention... I am unemployed. We don't have social security out here in India, so I live with my parents. My parents provide me with free food and shelter but they can be cruel and they in fact are... they love to mentally torture me...especially my Dad but my Mom too.

[Yzen]

I hope you can find the energy to get out of the house even if it only a short walk. It helps.

Originally Posted by Yzen

I hope you can find the energy to get out of the house even if it only a short walk. It helps.

I will try to go out to the local grocers today evening. Maybe to the tailors too.

[Yzen]

Sorry you are hurting so much. I hope it gets better. It is difficult to rely on family and have them treat you badly. They don't understand what you are going through.

Originally Posted by Desiree2006

I will try to go out to the local grocers today evening. Maybe to the tailors too.

I did go out.

[Thirty shades]

Desiree

I am sorry you are in so much pain. You are never alone. Many of us are suffering with you.

Sending fortitude and respect to you, hoping there may be some easier days soon

[Fuzzybear]

Desiree

Hugs and respect to you

[Thirty shades]

[Tucson]

I understand what the pain from depression feels like. I hope you will be feeling better soon

[Rrr5263]

Hope you feel better desiree. Trust me, depression is the devil. I know you feel hurt, but think back to the times when you were truly happy without this boyfriend. Think back to the times when you smelled the fresh air and just smiled because you were truly happy. Look deep inside and bring out the desiree that lives deep in within. Prayers and. Blessings.

[Fuzzybear]