Looking for accountability partners, #4

Since I am not feeling well (physical) I only have two things on my to do list for tomorrow: 1) Breakfast 2) Fill dishwasher

Be well all!

I’ve been making headway on the house today since it’s storming outside. Tomorrow I plan to attend church and a special healing ceremony, clean my car, run some errands and continue making reasonable progress on the house. I’ve been building in some inner work each day as well early in the morning.

I wish everyone a peaceful Sunday.

I feel down, not deeply depressed, but feeling that I don't know how to go on from now to be able to take care of all my physical illnesses. We are only 12 days into the new year. Some days with heavy weather and then the tooth ace almost knocked me down. It is not the pain, but I am afraid that it will cost more money then I have to my disposition.

I have, NOW, decided that for the moment I need at least two to three weeks at this thread.

I have put up seven goals at HabitBull (an app that lets you put up important habits, so that you can keep track on them to see your progress). These goals are all related to health (activity, relaxation or healthy food). That I have these goals and can control them gives me a certain amount of hope.

For now I will have a meal and a cup of coffee. Then I will start to, among other, fill the dishwasher.

Be well all and feel good about yourself!

Today, I need to fill the dishwasher, brush my teeth, take a shower, and go to teach Sunday school. If I feel up to it, I may go to a support group tonight.

Plans for Monday:

- Up 06:30
- 07:00 Breakfast, anti-SAD lamp and put the dishwasher to work
- 07:45 Shower
- 08:20 Make myself ready for meeting the dentist
- When home again do work in the home
- Try to eat healthy

Hope you all will feel well about yourself tomorrow!

I hope the dentist appointment goes well.

Tomorrow I MUST notarize and overnight a medical form, go to an appointment with my NP, pick up medication at two different places and purchase new glasses. I will work in some housework and inner work if possible. I’ve not been as productive or as socially active since SAD kicked in but I am working on it diligently. I’m showing myself lots of compassion and kindness in the process.

Warm wishes to all for a peaceful Monday.

Tomorrow, I will try to start the week with a new attitude and follow PDOC's recommendations about not being in bed during the day.

Best wishes for all of you.

Yes, compassion and kindness toward oneself is much important during SAD. Sometimes SAD almost feels like some sort of pain (at least it does so for me).

Good luck with your gentle approach toward your SAD!

I have survived the dentist. New and last appointment next week.

I have four different physical diseases + one newly diagnosed (TDM=problems with tight muscles in head, neck and face). That is five. If I add depression there are six diagnoses all in all.

It seems like I have to reorganize my day. I have group gym two times a week, but need to plot in special exercises for the new disorder. I need to be able to control how often I do them as well. May be I will buy a book to write it down in or see if I find an app.

I will not bow for these diseases (the new one was the drop on the top)! Here comes the fighter ... Well, I will not use a sword. The emoticon is only meant to tell that I'm not giving in. When I write down how often I do these special extra exercises + set a time for daily relaxation (+ evt massage at home with apparatus), it is a form of control that I can use when talking to my GP.

The first self-treatment period lasts 8 weeks. If that hasn't worked the GP will find other treatments. If nothing else has helped, surgery is last treatment. Let us hope that it will not come so far!

May your day be good!

Plans for Tuesday:

It is early, but the plan is ready. I have made a plan for every Tuesday from morning to evening.

It's a full days work on taking care of my health. It starts with breakfast and Anti-SAD lamp, continues with different physical exercises, massage for head, arms and shoulders with apparatus, a walk in the neighborhood, work in the home, healthy meals, rest and then studying in the evening. After study: Free time to use as I want.

I will make the general Wednesday plan tomorrow (have remembered to make time for doing that in the plan).

I hope to manage, but will try to take longer resting periods if I have placed too much in the schedule.

See you tomorrow to tell if I was able to go through with the plan.

May each one of you have a good Tuesday and be filled with self-respect even if you only are able to do a tiny bit of all you want to do (that goes for me as well)!

I did more than what I expected today. I got up at 10, worked 2 hours, got an appointment with the dermatologist, exercised in the gym for 1 hour and took a shower. Moreover, I did have my 4 meals of the day.

Tomorrow I plan to get up at 9:30, work for 2 hours and then I will meet with two friends. From there, I will improvise (but I will try to include 3 hours of exercise.)

I need to correct this. I have presented the letters in wrong order. The right order is TMD also called TJD (Temporomandibular Joint Disorders). It's about strong pain in the jaws wich drag other muscles into pain as well, head, neck and face). It is usually treated with spesial exercises that one has to do at home for 8 weeks twice a day, before any other treatment is offered.

Sorry for the mistake!

I have met most of my goals for today. Am satisfied with that. I have thought a lot about how to schedule Wednesday. I have come up with this:

Since I plan to use Mondays and Tuesdays as "work hard with health days", may be the best is to make Wednesday some sort of a resting day? I think so. When I fill up Thursday and Friday with plans as well (and the weekend is free-time) this will be two days to work hard, one day free, two days to work hard again (on bettering my health) and then free in the weekend. It seems reasonable as far as I can see now. The dark mornings are still difficult to overcome, but to me it functions well to get up early and then get more sleep after breakfast when I feel for it.

The necessary things to do for tomorrow (Wednesday):

- Up at 07:00
- Breakfast & Anti-SAD lamp
- Go to bed again for more rest if I feel for it
- Fill pill-box
- Some de-cluttering, not much
- Visit the grocery
- Make meals
- Make ready the general plan for the coming Thursdays

And og course I cannot skip the exercises twice a day for my TMD (no rest from that ever in the next eight weeks)

I wish each one of you well!

Today I have the following plans:

1. Appointment with therapist.
2. Notarize and fedex form.
3. Run errands.
4. Fix the shower.
5. Inner work.
6. Read a good book.

My SAD has worsened over the past few days and I’ve had a few days of getting virtually nothing done except to see my NP and run a few errands. Today I begin anew!

Warm regards to all for a peaceful Wednesday.

I am sorry that your SAD has become worse, but happy to hear that you are giving yourself a new start point.

I was worried because I didn't see you here, so I looked for you in the bipolar forum, left some words for you there. Hope they give you some sort of relief and give you patience with the here and now. I have tried to hold those words as neutral as possible because I wanted to focus on SAD generally for those with bipolar disorder and those with unipolar disorder. The pain is the same, but the treatment in addition to Light-box and use of daylight and perhaps D-vitamins, is different.

I wish you all the best!

Thank you for your concern. I really appreciate it and your words here and on the bipolar forum.

I have been to several doctors and have received two different diagnoses: Major, treatment resistant depression and alternately bipolar type 2. There is some question and that may be why we can’t get it under better control. I use both unipolar and bipolar medications to treat this malady. Your message helped me remember to be patient, deal with the here and now and to press on.

Because there is some question, I find it helpful to post in both forums. I find this thread particularly helpful.

Thanks again. Warm regards to you.

Well, we are persons, not diagnoses. The most important is to find a treatment that works whatever the diagnosis is. I did for a long period in my life suspect that may be I suffered from cyclothymia. I bought the psyclothymia work book and did understand that it wasn't psyclothymia.

I have discussed it with my therapist and, as already told, I am unipolar. Still I could use the psycklotymia workbook. Here are the reasons why:

With the book there are exercises that can be downloaded for free. One can rate ones feelings from 1-10 on Depression, Hypomania, Irritability and Anxiety. The Hypomania scale was not actual for me, but the opportunity to rate my depression from very low (1) to high/untolerable (10) gave me a lot. I don't know how to explain it, but I felt these ratings as support. They were concrete and gave me the opportunity to control what was happening to me. I did not have to remember if I was so or so depressed. I had it all documented.

There was also a stress scale. It was possible to see if depression became higher with higher stress.

One downloadable paper was about to learn about "Red flags" or what we call Triggers. I wrote down the triggers and how to react different to them. (I also counted inner triggers (feelings) and what to do with them). I still have those papers gathered in a ring-perm. I try to set off time to repetitions regularly. This means that the work once done still helps me today.

There is a rule made by Dr. Yapco (psychologist) that goes so: When one has depression under control the time begins to keep it under that control (this was not a direct quote, but the essence of the meaning I got out of it). As I understood him, one of the tools to live well and with as few symptoms as possible was to continue to use the tools learned and to keep no time unstructured (I remember that I have said this before).

I think that it is the use of structured time that make this thread work so well.

So, back to you: Since there is a question about if you are bipolar or not, may be it will help you to rate your feelings too. I send you the most helpful links (that has helped me).

http://www.allaboutdepression.com/cy...ercise_6_1.pdf

http://www.allaboutdepression.com/cy...ercise_4_7.pdf

http://www.allaboutdepression.com/cy...ercise_6_2.pdf

May be stuff like the above will help you to get control over your depressions. If you want to try, you must stay committed to the work. It will not help if it is only a passive exercise for you.

At amazon they have books that explains bipolar. If you prefer it, you can use an app to chart your emotions.

The most important to remember is that if you start to use exercises like or similar to those I have mentioned, you must feel some curiousness about finding out, really want it. If not, it's of no help.

Of course it is possible to go to talking therapy at the same time. The ratings becomes routines while the talking is about things that happens in ones life.

Well, what works for one person does not have to work for another. I just wanted to give you the opportunity to think these things through.

I also want to mention something you said at the end of last summer. You told that you were up in the middle of the night and tried to do something. To have the energy to do something in the middle of the night might be a sympthom of bipolar disorder. I don't say that it is, I only mentions it because it scared the heck out of me.


Somebody experienced with bipolar disorder would probably not talked about doing something at the middle of the night. Such a person would have told us that she recognized a trigger that might turn into hypomania or mania. Such a person would immeditly told us that she wanted to do relaxation exercises to see if the energy went down or said that she saw it as a sign to call her therapist ...

I don't mention this to hurt your feelings, but in the hope that you will find it helpful to chart your emotions and learn to watch out for such or other warning signs.

It's the watching out for signs that it does not go well with me or that something points to a downward spiral and that I have to act to stop that that helps me. Medication alone cannot do the whole job for me.

Good wishes for you now and for the days and weeks to come!

Plans for Thursday:

- Up at 07:00
- Breakfast with Anti-SAD lamp
- Go to bed again and rest until 09:30
- 10:45 Gym
- When home again, eat and plan the rest of the day.

May each one of you have a good day tomorrow!

Thank you for your response and for the links to the exercises. I will find them most helpful. I appreciate your support.

Warm regards to you.