[SlumberKitty]

Hi all. I don't post much in the depression forum, but sometimes I come here and read. Anyway, I've been dealing with depression practically my whole life. Since I was about 9 or 10. I have depression with psychotic features. I was really suicidal earlier this month, and had to see my pdoc twice in one week. I managed to get weekly therapy appointments for the next six weeks (normally I see my T every two or three weeks) and I am going to have a couple of CBT appointments with my Pastor who is also a T. He has a PhD in Marriage and Family Counseling. My T agreed to me seeing my Pastor because normally you can't see two T's for individual therapy at the same time, from what I've been told. But since they work with different modalities, my T was okay with it. Plus it is only for a couple of sessions.


I've been on tons of anti-depressants, and anti-psychotics. I'm currently on Trintellix, and Rexulti, along with a few other psych meds. I try to exercise, eat right, sleep enough, volunteer etc. I work full time, which is hard. I have to drag myself out of bed every day but I get here to work. I work in accounting and do HR on the side. I have made a couple of mistakes this month because my concentration is shot. But the Pdoc raised the dose on my ADHD medication so I am hoping this helps. I also take supplements SAM-e and L-methylfolate. I don't know if I spelled that right. My Pdoc knows about it because he is the one that suggested I take them.

After a lifetime of depression, I am just wore out. I am running out of coping tools. I come to PC a lot and talk here. I do journaling too and sometimes artwork. I just wondered if there is anything I am missing. Anything you guys can think of that I'm not doing. I want to be better from all this depression and SH and everything but I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water although I am doing the absolute best that I can. I listen to music. I read scripture. I try to do self-care as best as I can. I just can't think of anything else to try but I thought maybe someone here would have some suggestions. Thanks to anyone who read my post. HUGS to all of you--Kit

[Twitch99]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

...My T agreed to me seeing my Pastor because normally you can't see two T's for individual therapy at the same time, from what I've been told. But since they work with different modalities, my T was okay with it. Plus it is only for a couple of sessions.

I did not know that you're not supposed to see multiple Ts. What are you supposed to do if you can't find just 1 that can treat all of your problems? Or am I the only one that's so messed up that I can't find just 1?

[TunedOut]

I am impressed with all you are managing to do! What about taking a couple of days off just to rest/recharge? October is a great month to get outside in many places. With that kind of schedule, maybe you need some time to just lay around, walk, ride your bike and binge watch funny TV shows/movies? It sounds like you are on it. It is a chronic condition that can require as much effort as physical conditions like Type 1 diabetes. I am glad you posted about it. Hugs and prayers.

[Bill3]

In my understanding it is up to the client whether or not to see more than one t. Therapists might have opinions about it, but in my understanding it is not automatically wrong to see more than one therapist, for whatever reason (such as differing modalities), and the final decision is up to the client.

In your specific situation, your pastor I gather is a very significant figure in your life. I think it would be important to be able to speak freely to him, and as often as you and he mutually agree. Seeing a t has no bearing on these interactions, in my view.

Maybe ask on the Psychotherapy forum about people’s experiences with this?

Hugs!

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sending hugs

[SlumberKitty]

Thanks everyone! I think it depends on the therapists modality whether they are okay with their client seeing two T's for individual therapy. I think it's common to see a T for individual therapy and another T for EMDR or group, or at therapy, or marriage counseling. Of course one could simply choose not to tell their T they are seeing another T. However in my case, my Pastor who is also a T made a stipulation that I had to ask current T and I had to pray about it. I wasn't going to lie to him and said I had asked when I hadn't. Now my regular T seems far more okay with it then my Pastor T. I guess it just depends on their style and modality. I did ask on the psychotherapy forum and everyone who responded thought it was okay, or even advisable in my case. So I guess we will see how that goes.

[bpcyclist]

I am sorry you are suffering, @SlumberKitty. I also have pretty severe, resistant (bipolar) depression and I am also exhausted. Today was pretty good, but most days, I feel like I am fighting, scratching, and clawing just to stay alive long enough to get to bed. It is just wearing me out. I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.

So, I feel for you. And I hope some of these many measures you are taking will bear fruit and help you out. The only other thought I had was whether you had considered ketamine or not. That seems to help some folks who don't respond to other things. I have not, but I was on a related drug that works in the same way. It was miraculous. Unfortunately, I had too many side effects and had to stop it. But it might be worth looking into.

I wish you all the best. Don't give up. You can get through this. I know you can.