I'm feeling very alone and getting depressed. I know looking at news doesn't help but I cant seem to stop looking. I'm also afraid to go to the doctor about my shoulder hurting, its getting worse and trying to stretch it is painful. But take a chance at going to the clinic and pick up some virus and possibly put on a wait list for physio or xray... seems pointless too.

[puzzclar]

Originally Posted by 2daffodils

I'm feeling very alone and getting depressed. I know looking at news doesn't help but I cant seem to stop looking. I'm also afraid to go to the doctor about my shoulder hurting, its getting worse and trying to stretch it is painful. But take a chance at going to the clinic and pick up some virus and possibly put on a wait list for physio or xray... seems pointless too.

I have been to the doctor and the lab in the last week. Upon entry, my temperature was taken and I tried not to touch a lot. The chairs had been rearranged to have 6 feet between each chair. I hope knowing that some areas are taking precautions will help. Pain is no fun.

As for me, I'm in a world of hurt. My grandma could be dying. and I have a very triggering week now in school. I am being reminded of the past and I am about to lose my mind.

[downandlonely]

I'm feeling very alone too. Probably because I am alone. I live alone, but before the quarantine I was able to go out and be around other people every day. Now it is just me and the cat. I have been doing virtual meetings, but there is no human physical contact.

I felt kind of sad today and wanted to cry but didn't. I don't know why. In fact, lately things are a little bit better for me than usual. I got my state income tax refund back yesterday, which wasn't much. And today I got my stimulus check. Also, this is a month that I get paid three times instead of twice, which is an increase for my income. Maybe it's because I'm feeling guilty than things are going pretty good and that I don't deserve it. On the other hand, things are so depressing around me; like it is with everyone else.

I worked out after work and at 8PM banged a couple of pots outside on my balcony like others were doing to cheer on and honor those in the medical field. It's a real cool thing.

[jrae]

been extremely defeated/deflated! can't even seem to get the 'little' things done anymore - and at the same time, i don't care. and i know people would say i should talk about things but it's like i can't even do that, along with 'what's the point' and no energy.

[and this honestly has NOTHING to do with the virus pandemic]

[puzzclar]

I did start to cry then stopped myself. Nothing is helping. I'm scared!

[3rd rock]

Time when I'm at work passes too slowly, but time when I'm not at work passes too quickly.

Well I'm not doing great, cant get a good sleep. Thanks for the info about your visit puzzclar. Maybe I'm too worried about catching something. I will likely end up so frustrated I'll go to a clinic. I've got to stop focusing on all this negative stuff and try to appreciate the smaller things.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

I'm feeling very alone too. Probably because I am alone. I live alone, but before the quarantine I was able to go out and be around other people every day. Now it is just me and the cat. I have been doing virtual meetings, but there is no human physical contact.

I understand how you feel. I feel alone even though i love with people.

[Rose76]

Spent the day in bed. Just very tired, apathetic and lazy.

My s.o. is not getting proper care, while I'm like this. I have to pull out of this state of mind, or admit I can't care for him.

[Fuzzybear]

[Rose76]

Had a very bad depressive episode last evening. The apartment is a mess. I'm sick of caregiving.

[Buffy01]

I feel really down today. When I should be feeling ok.

[Yzen]

Unhappy, Uneasy, Unsteady. The 3 U's of my evening.

Lack of getting out, even just to a park or something, is really getting me down. I know this is affecting everyone.

I was feeling alright this morning and part of the afternoon. I was pretty busy with domestic things. In the late afternoon and tonight I feel very down. I've been thinking about how I could have handled things that were going against me much better than I did. Especially handling bad people.

[arich62]

I have been stuck in this pandemic AWAY from home now for six weeks. Stuck with my wife. We're at the point of not hardly talking to one another. Hygiene isn't good right now. Vegetating and resting about 20 hours a day. I want this lockdown to end. I want to get home.

[88Butterfly88]

I feel pretty depressed today.

[Rose76]

I just keep trying to remember that depressive episodes don't last forever, or even for all that long. (Despite the duration feeling like eternity.) I'm lucky in that respect. I'm not continually depressed for years, or even months, on end. Depression for me is episodic. It kicks in, lasts awhile, and kicks out. The trouble is these episodes are recurrent. I have chronically recurrent depression. In between episodes I can be pretty close to just fine. I know I'll keep having episodes as long as I live. That I just accept. My goal in managing depression is to try and make the episodes clear up faster and to not occur so often. Then I have a reasonably decent life. Lately, it's tailspin after tailspin. I pull out of one. In no time I'm a wreck again. This COVID thing seemed to just push me over the edge. Not at first. I thought I was coping well for awhile. Since 3 days ago, I'm not coping adequately. My S.O. utterly depends on me for everything, so, if I'm not taking care of stuff properly, he gets short-changed. Then I have to consider telling his family, or his social worker at the VA, that other arrangements have to be made for him. That's a scary proposition. To send someone to a nursing home right now is a dreadful option. Tomorrow I'll get a call from a VA social worker, since I left a message for her today. I have to say I'll keep caring for him, or I won't. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow and just go on with what I've been doing.

I went to work today and felt very depressed. I don't know why. It has to be that Corona Crisis going on. It's making everyone feel that way. I read a good article about why it's normal to feel this way during the crisis. Also it's just very slow and draggy at work. I know I feel privileged being about to go to work as of now. There are times when I want to stay home. If I call in sick, then people think that something's up with me.

At the end of the work day, I felt better. I have been feeling very tired these days also. I did a workout with my alternative band resistance instead of the weights. I still miss the weights that I worked out with. I had to give it up because some neighbors complained when I was using it.