Just got diagnosed. Unsure about treatment...

After struggling with finding a therapist that worked well for me and procrastinating a lot, I was finally able to contact a new therapist and have just finished my third meeting with them. I was diagnosed with "double depression" (having both persistent and major depression) and therapist told me treatment would most likely be psychotherapy, and meds if I wanted.

I am honestly a bit scared of starting actual treatment. I have lived with depression for most of my life it seems and I don't know what my personality is like and who I am without the gloomy overtones. I honestly feel like maybe I would be okay if just the major depression was treated and I could just be dysthymic forever. I don't know if I'm just scared of change or what. I'm also scared of meds because it seems like the people I know irl who are on them for depression either get a lot of side effects or become dependent and can no longer regulate their moods without them. I'm scared of both possibilities. Does anyone have insight or reassurance about this?

I agree with you in your approach to meds. I would only advise meds if it were extreme situational or chemical depression and for short term use. Meds tend to muddy the waters and complicate. Then you you spend years trying to get off once you start the meds. Intense therapy w minimal, if any meds would be my recommendation. You have been without meds for so long. Don’t polydrug. Will the med bring about a serious improvement in your question of life? Then possibly.

Thank you. I think I'll talk with my therapist about starting with just psychotherapy and maybe medication if that alone doesn't help...

Hey @fishjam

Quote:

Originally Posted by fishjam I am honestly a bit scared of starting actual treatment. I have lived with depression for most of my life it seems and I don't know what my personality is like and who I am without the gloomy overtones. I honestly feel like maybe I would be okay if just the major depression was treated and I could just be dysthymic forever. I don't know if I'm just scared of change or what. I'm also scared of meds because it seems like the people I know irl who are on them for depression either get a lot of side effects or become dependent and can no longer regulate their moods without them. I'm scared of both possibilities. Does anyone have insight or reassurance about this?

What is it about the idea of dependence on meds that scares you? I dont mean to sound sharp but so many people get hung up on regular medication when it comes to mental illness. People judge us when we need it and we judge ourselves because we need it. SO what? No one says anything to someone taking blood pressure medication. No one cares if you need meds to help your cholesteral or stomach acid. Somehow, maybe its subliminal, society and us have convinced people that being dependent on meds for mental illness is some kind of character flaw and that we should just suck it up. That we should be ashamed that we have a disease or disorder that involves integral parts of ourselves like our emotions or way of thinking or feelings. If some needs medication then they need it.
I over feeling bad about needing medication and I have moved past all the pain I put my family through for not being med compliant. I have bipolar II in addition to other things and it is a brain chemistry problem.

I have to say I respectfully disagree with this. I would be dead and in the ground long, long ago were it not for multiple meds. Granted, I have bipolar depression and not MD, but still, the concept is very similar. The idea that serious depression is just about wrestling with life's questions is, I believe, a rather simplistic approach to what serious, life-threatening depression is. Just my take and, of course, everyone's mileage may vary.

Hello,
I'm not a financially stable person who has very good insurance, so needing meds on an ongoing basis is kind of nerve-wracking to me. You're right that there might be some subliminal thought coming into play though. I generally hate feeling/being dependent on anything. My therapist did say that bipolar is a diagnosis where meds are not optional, but I guess for depression alone without any mania it depends more on the person? I don't know.

I can follow your reluctance to use medication. For me it doesn't work: I'm one of the people who experience side-effects and nothing but that. Nevertheless, every new psychiatrist insists he has the perfect miraculous elixir of happiness for me. The experience always turns out the same for me: I end up sleeping 12 hours a day or even more. To me it's predictable and - even more frustrating - it blocks my treatment.

On the other hand: many people - if not most - have good results with antidepressants etc.. I have never felt as if any medication really changed my personality and neither have acquintances who benefit from medication. I think you have to keep in mind that people who benefit from medication have no reason to be vocal about it: there still is a stigma on metal health and if medication helps you get by many people are glad and keep their ailments to themselves. Those with bad experiences probably have more reason to out their frustration ...
Furthermore, I would shy away from therapists who present medication as the cornerstone of a solution. Given that yours suggests medication only if you want , I would definitely trust him/her when you discuss the issue. Do express your fear for side-effects if medication is brought up.

I agree with this post. Also it is not as uncommon as it might seem for some people to be so intolerant of meds that this isn't an option. I too suggest staying away from meds if this is possible. (I know there are always people who say they would be ''dead'' without the meds Being put on meds ''for life'' without comprehensive ''psych support'' and adequate treatment with psychotherapy is... sub optimal IMHO

to many side effects from these drug especially if you have other medical issues like diabetes and blood work issues. most if them effect your eyes and i have enough problems now with my eyes