[LundiHvalursson]

Usually when my grandparents were alive, we used to have a fairly nice Christmas. Family together, presents sharing, Christmas tree, music, etc. However ever since my terminally ill grandmother died last year, my parents and I really do not celebrate Christmas much.

This Christmas, I essentially was alone throughout the day. I just went into the Japantown of my city, ate in a restaurant alone, and walked around alone. Of course people stared when I ate alone, like usual. I saw a lot of couples walking together, although most of them were tourists from countries such as South Korea, China, Hong Kong and of course Japan. Even so, it made me feel even more lonely. Ever since this Wednesday, I feel like I fell into a bit of a mini-depressive state. It made me feel like life is changing, and it is only getting lonelier as time passes.

I was doing alright before, having my self-esteem and self-confidence slowly increasing. But these past couple of days I have been feeling quite sad. I guess that many already know about my having turned 30 and being single/virgin, etc. But this decade is coming to a close soon, and the New Year is next Wednesday. I feel a mix of anxiety and a bit of depression looking back now at my life how in my 20s, I did not accomplish a lot of what I wanted to do.

In effect, as of right now I have zero friends and barely any acquaintances. Perhaps one or two acquaintances from social gatherings/meetups, but they are distant acquaintances, not close ones. If I go out, I usually go out all by myself. Others have a girlfriend, or a wife, plus friends.

Is anyone in a similar situation, and what did you to at least make your holiday season a bit more pleasant?

[Gfofaddict]

Sorry to hear you’re having a tough time. I too have been feeling lonely lately and while it is easy to find things to do to keep boredom away, loneliness is a bit harder to resolve. I just moved 3,000 miles from my hometown and haven’t met any new friends yet. I guess we just need to keep trying new things. I just joined a church and am looking for some groups to join to at least have people to talk to and things to look forward too. Best of luck to you and me both!

[LundiHvalursson]

Moving that far away is always hard. When I went to university, I moved from California to the UK, which is around 6000 miles away from home, so I understand what you mean.

The trying new things is the hard part. I can more or less try to adjust myself to the actual going to a new social with an open mind, as I have done many times. But the finding a suitable group where people are not judgemental has been seriously hard. I have been looking for better social gatherings for over a year now, and still have not found one.

Often, like tonight and most other nights, I have no friends or acquaintances to talk to. I feel like everyone else has someone to be with or talk to during this time of the year as well as at any other time, but not me. I doubt that this is due to the weather, since I enjoy cold, snowy weather, and where I live, Northern California, has very strange weather in that in general the weather is the around same throughout the year.

It feels like my only friend is my journal, where I write my thoughts. I have no one else to talk to about anything really.

That is nice that you found a community in the form of your new church. I am not religious myself, but I know from experience from my childhood how being in a church community can foster friendships and more.