[Hi IM Dan]

What are some common reoccurring thoughts you struggle with?

[Rohag]

"What if χ happens? What will I do?"

[Fuzzybear]

Too many to name, also I don't like sharing them.

[Hi IM Dan]

Most the time I feel like a humiliation, like Im that guy you can guarantee you always get over on..

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Hi IM Dan

Humiliation....

I frequently experience a vague, nonverbal sense of shame.

[Hi IM Dan]

Is it real rohag?

It feels so vivid and real to me. Humiliation.

[Rohag]

The feeling of shame is real, but it is muted. All my feelings are muted, blunted 99% of the time. Occasionally they explode in a kind of terror-rage directed against myself.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Rohag

I frequently experience a vague, nonverbal sense of shame.

I think this originated from very early childhood (for me anyway) which is why a sub optimal bully therapist (irl) did not help....

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Hi IM Dan

Most the time I feel like a humiliation, like Im that guy you can guarantee you always get over on..

Maybe its their problem? Maybe they are insecure, bullies, enjoy putting others down to feel better about themselves

[Thirty shades]

Nobody loves me.....

It is not true but it is still felt by my cub...

I challenge it but noticing the feeling arise seems to be enough to reinforce it.

[Hi IM Dan]

Fuzzy, they are better than I that doesn't bother me at all, I just want to have my life back from this disease like the next person.

Thirty, Im not sure your definition of love, but there are people like us who also find all your quirks endearing and wouldn't mind spending their time with you, and who don't hold themselves any higher than the depressed struggling person you may be.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Thirty shades

Nobody loves me.....

It is not true but it is still felt by my cub...

I challenge it but noticing the feeling arise seems to be enough to reinforce it.

((((((((( Thirty shades )))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

“Better than” and especially “more or less valuable than” (re people) I think is an opinion and one I usually don’t agree with. Maybe that makes me not endearing, to some.

Thirty shades, I have always found you kind, true, caring, intelligent and respectful. To me that is endearing.

My cub was programmed the same way - to feel that

“nobody loves me”


“Noticing the feeling arising being enough to reinforce it

Can you say more?


(No need to reply, I think we both have shared experiences with family of origin and also professionals irl who do not value us or understand us....it puzzles me what some of these professionals are taught in their training... if they cannot listen or understand then they fail to support or help at the first hurdle/stage of therapy ... if they do not try to listen and understand

[Hi IM Dan]

In terms of therapy and therapists listening,

Heres my take. One can only describe the feeling or thought so well, to ask another if they understand is one way but I think we should concentrate on asking this person to explain what we mean back to us for comprehension, that is definitely is my miss when im in groups or therapy.

If one cant describe something its no one fault its lost in translation its a feeling, maybe one acquires a feeling to understand. In which case describe something else no judgements made. Or express your thought on my feelings and I can help describe it better listening is a two way street. Is it big.... car big or skyscraper big or a big pinecone

Im just rambling.

[Thirty shades]

Fuzzybear my brain (like your own maybe?) sends a pain message with the thought "Nobody cares"

The therapists would expect us to a) notice it and b) challenge it.

Hearing it and counselling it seem to reinforce the message

My problem is that after I have followed both steps, I don't feel better and the feeling returns like a re-occuring nightmare. I have tried many times. I have come to the conclusion that it is a cry for self love. When I have a good spell of connection with myself the feeling is mostly absent.

Hi Im Dan, in our forest the therapists don't really listen or understand us. They get cross and tell us we are not thinking properly.

I think our feelings are messages from our inner self to express what is going on deep within ourselves.

I have being trying self love but it has been met with rejection. It is not that nobody cares but just someone has made me feel like they don't care. My brain thinks that means no-one cares.

[Fuzzybear]

CBT would expect us to notice it and then challenge it. The therapists in this forest tend to get cross and/or bored if we are not significantly ''cured'' after 6 to 10 sessions. Unless we are paying privately they would usually discharge and label at this point if not before. Some private therapists are willing to talk to someone for longer than this. I do not feel that many of them are anywhere near up to date with ''current treatments'' and I question the ethics of those I have seen personally (one of them was definitely unethical.) So a thought I struggle with is how many therapists in this forest are ethical. They want us to open up and ''trust'' them.... for some people it takes a long time to trust a therapist. Trust may have to be earned, it does not come automatically from a paper qualification. Sorry about the rant Of course, it could be that things have changed in the last 9 months or so, I do not keep up to date with the latest goings on in this forest irl re therapists. Sorry if I sound cynical.

hugs and respect

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Thirty shades

Fuzzybear my brain (like your own maybe?) sends a pain message with the thought "Nobody cares"

The therapists would expect us to a) notice it and b) challenge it.

Hearing it and counselling it seem to reinforce the message

My problem is that after I have followed both steps, I don't feel better and the feeling returns like a re-occuring nightmare. I have tried many times. I have come to the conclusion that it is a cry for self love. When I have a good spell of connection with myself the feeling is mostly absent.

Hi Im Dan, in our forest the therapists don't really listen or understand us. They get cross and tell us we are not thinking properly.

I think our feelings are messages from our inner self to express what is going on deep within ourselves.

I have being trying self love but it has been met with rejection. It is not that nobody cares but just someone has made me feel like they don't care. My brain thinks that means no-one cares.

Hi Im Dan, I agree with Thirty shades. she speaks the truth. The therapists in our forest do not really listen or understand us. They get annoyed or angry and tell us we are not thinking properly, we are not doing therapy properly, they cannot help us... (even ................. )

Dear Thirty shades, I'm sorry your snake has been rejecting the love you've been offering her.

Is this someone irl who has made you feel like they don't care? (no need to answer)... I am similar, if someone is very uncaring my brain can, at least for a while, globalise that into a feeling of being unworthy of being cared about. I think this originates from the ''failure'' of the primary ''caregivers'' Maybe we can work on this. There is something inside (snake?) who wants us to keep internalising the failure of the primary ''caregivers'' to care

I agree with you, I think our feelings are messages from our inner self to express what is going on deep within ourselves. You're very insightful. Maybe we can work on this together on the ''bus''

[Hi IM Dan]

Thirty shades and Fuzzybear,

Im sorry about the shortcomings in your therapy sessions. Not listening and not understanding are way different the way I rationalize them. Its unfortunate to hear thinking properly, the biggest failure here seems like a lack of communication in which case my neck of the woods is on par with yours.

Ill put it this way, math is concrete right. Thirty says 2 + 2 = 4 Fuzzy says huh? how why what? thirty proceeds look at your hand, close your hand into a fist. Each finger counts as one digit, extend one finger... that's one... extend another finger that's one. how many fingers are extended... 2? do the same thing on the other hand and how many fingers are extended?
If you ask me I need the extra help with the math but if you explain it right most of whats missed can be communicated somehow..
Anyway.

Thirty with your messages of pain to the brain from an emotional stand point I would refer to AA. This to shall pass. Does changing the stimulation help, can you acknowledge it then let someone change that pain to another feeling?

[Thirty shades]

Originally Posted by Hi IM Dan

Thirty with your messages of pain to the brain from an emotional stand point I would refer to AA. This to shall pass. Does changing the stimulation help, can you acknowledge it then let someone change that pain to another feeling?

I am not good at changing my feelings without a lot of work. It will take time and it will pass for a bit.

Life is unfortunately a rollercoaster ride.

[Thirty shades]

Lets work on self love on the bus dear Fuzzybear.

[wiretwister]

that evryone would just be better off without me around , that my insurance is worth so much more than I am . . . . .

[winter4me]

trying not to think those things right now...
but it runs behind everything like the thread running at the bottom of streaming news
just go away
no one will notice or care
it would be better without you
you wasted your life
and now you are pathetic
(not true objectively...)
and now i have time for things i like to do and i am not doing....fits and starts...
waiting for something but i don't know what it is