At my dad’s

Been at my dad’s for some days. Now I’m a bit scared of going back home.
My meds have been increased to the max. I still have a lot of anxiety.

Dear MatBell,

I am not very good with words especially in the English language, but I just want to express you how sorry I am that you suffering anxiety, which is weighing so heavily upon you. Although I am not in your shoes and would not want to trespass on the absolute uniqueness of your suffering, I can certainly identify with your feelings of great anxiety from my own current experience.

I wish I knew what to say that would help you, but sadly I am at a loss for such insight. I am taking it one day at a time, and sometimes one hour, one minute and one second at a time.

It is heartbreaking what you are enduring. I hope things somehow improve for you. I also hope that others here will have better words for you than my poor words.

Sincerely yours, -- Yao Wen

Maybe you can stay at your dad's awhile longer, Mat? Maybe just the presence of somebody else helps? Kind of like being in the hospital where you know other people are around and it's not just you so you feel safer? I don't know.

I think the whole world's anxious at this point.

Yes. Although I don’t really feel like I’m wanted. I feel my dad and his girlfriend want me out now.
I’m getting so many mixed signals from them. What would you do Mopey?
I feel so lost. With regards to a future job, where to live etc.
I hope you are okay

What about at your mother's? Would it be any better there?

And absolutely I'm with you, I wouldn't want to be where I had the feeling I wasn't wanted and they were just putting up with me.

Did you say in the past that you had an internship lined up? For when this is over?

And probably the best advice I could give you right now is to the best of your ability, stop thinking, stop your mind going around in ever more panicky circles, focus your energy on something more pleasant, and as Eckhart Tolle says, Align With What Is. Realize you can only deal with one thing at a time. Where you will live, #1. Where you will work, #2. And so forth.

HUGS.....