[pjbockajr]

I am steady enough

[will19]

Yesterday I posted how weird Monday was. Well today the weirdness continues. I forgot to mention that I don't have access to enter in my time sheet at work. The web site for me to do it has been blocked for some strange reason. So yesterday and today I have not been able to enter in my time sheet.

Another thing happened today was that a woman at my job asked me out for a date. It's been decades since I've been on a real date. I prefer not to have a deep relationship with anyone from work. I've done it before and it was a mistake. Plus I don't feel like she's the type I want. She's nice but I would prefer to be just "working friends".

[Deilla]

I saw my med provider today. No changes there. And I started working on a DBT workbook with my therapist. I find that helpful. I've been using REST a lot.

[childofchaos831]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I saw my med provider today. No changes there. And I started working on a DBT workbook with my therapist. I find that helpful. I've been using REST a lot.

I'm in a PHP program that is based in DBT, and they're gonna refer me to DBT IOP after this. So next week... have you done it before?

[Deilla]

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

I'm in a PHP program that is based in DBT, and they're gonna refer me to DBT IOP after this. So next week... have you done it before?

I've been in IOP years ago. I find those types of programs helpful. I've done a bit of DBT throughout the past few years. I find it makes a big difference. I wish you luck!

[childofchaos831]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I've been in IOP years ago. I find those types of programs helpful. I've done a bit of DBT throughout the past few years. I find it makes a big difference. I wish you luck!

Yea, I have done DBT IOP years ago, and I'm sure I'll remember most of it, but the leaders are different, so a new perspective might be good too. I'm just now coming to terms with a BPD diagnosis (that I fought tooth and nail for years actually) which finally makes sense after being IP and the resident going through the criteria in a way that made it very clear to me that I have it.

[3rd rock]

I have recently begun to struggle more and I'm beginning to have a lot of dark thoughts. As of today I have been placed on short term disability by my employer. I don't want to go too great into detail but I don't see any way out.

[tigerlily84]

Feeling low tonight, like it will never get better.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm thinking of everyone and sending positive thoughts. May you feel surrounded by love (from the Universe or your spiritual belief)

[Fuzzybear]

I had not heard of REST. I will investigate that. Hugs and kind thoughts to all

[will19]

I'm taking a day off from work today. So far I feel pretty good. I had an appointment with a Urologist for today but decided to cancel (or postpone for 3 months) because my blood reading was very good. I felt like I didn't need to go.

I plan on grocery shopping in a few minutes from now. I'll be doing that today instead of on Saturday, so it can free me up more this coming Saturday. I don't know what I have planned after the shopping. Just relax, I guess.

Lately, when I have been talking to my only friend at night, I'm feeling like he pulls me down emotionally. I would prefer to have another friend instead but that does not seem possible right now.

[Breaking Dawn]

I seem to be doing fine right now. I needed to rearrange my plan for the day, but I did do part of it.

[3rd rock]

I'm not feeling like I'm going to last very much longer. I don't know what to expect from the future. I've applied to a couple of writing jobs, after re-writing my resume. Technically I'm on leave from my current job, but my psychiatrist has said I can still look for work even while on leave, so that's what I'm doing.

[tigerlily84]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I'm not feeling like I'm going to last very much longer. I don't know what to expect from the future. I've applied to a couple of writing jobs, after re-writing my resume. Technically I'm on leave from my current job, but my psychiatrist has said I can still look for work even while on leave, so that's what I'm doing.

Hi 3rd rock, I hope I'm not overstepping. I'm sorry you're feeling so terribly right now. Please know that you are in my thoughts. I hope you feel better soon. I am wondering if maybe you are on the wrong med or the wrong dose? Sometimes the meds themselves can cause these thoughts and/or make them worse. If you haven't already please tell your psychiatrist about this so maybe they can make some adjustments.

[tigerlily84]

I'm feeling okay I think. I might do some laundry today or work on the coloring book that I have. It helps ease the anxiety.

[Rose76]

Today is the 3rd morning that I didn't wake up feeling miserable. I have some hope now.

[Mountaindewed]

Although I feel totally ok safety wise, I can’t tell if I’m heading into a depression or if I really am just trying to take it incredibly easy until my 2 appointments next week and then the surgery. But today I didn’t take a shower, didn’t put my binder or a bra on because I’m trying to get rid of some inflamed acne, and just sat on the chair all day watching mostly international versions of Drag Race with a pile of snacks and drinks. Although I’m dying to start running as soon as I possibly can because I’ve been wanting to since I was 13 but couldn’t because I was always too big and even a good sports bra didn’t work. But yeah maybe depression isn’t quite the correct word. Anticipation perhaps. Trying to distract myself for sure. Still dealing with PMDD too. It should go away around the 21st. I was super crabby yesterday.

[3rd rock]

I've wasted my life.

[will19]

It's been a weird week all along. It was nice having that day off yesterday. Well, the website to get into the timesheet at work is still blocked. One consolation is that a co-worker of mine had the same problem. I had that problem solved at home yesterday, but today I did it at home after work and had a problem. So, I'll have to try again.

Lately I have been having some outbursts within myself when little things go wrong. I'm scared because I'm normally a quiet and easy-going person. For an example; I bought the wrong spaghetti box yesterday and got very mad because I had to go back to the store to exchange for the right one. And then today, I was having 2 leftover slices of pizza for lunch. While I had heated them up and when it was almost ready, I got called that there was a truck to pick up some equipment - meaning that I had to be with someone just as the slices of pizza were ready. Wow, didn't I get mad when that happened.

I wish I was a more stable person.