[JustAnotherJoe]

Not sure how many of you feel this way. I know that some people with depression are actually good at being sociable, even if they are just going through the motions sometimes. To be honest I wish I knew how to do that even if it meant faking it.

My depression I feel has always been centered somewhat around loneliness. I've always been an awkward, introverted guy that never knows how to start conversations, keep them going, or sustain meaningful relationships. People generally seem to like me because I'm nice and kind-hearted, but that's usually as far as it gets me. People like me and call me a good person, but I'm not interesting or worth spending time with. Nobody wants to be friends with a guy who's quiet and boring, who's favorite hobbies consist of playing video games and listening to music. I'm friendly with everyone, and people are friendly to me, but it doesn't ever go deeper than surface level.

My "friends" are essentially just people that I get along with at work. But then I go home, and there's noone. Noone I can reach out to and noone who wants to reach out to me. I've tried in the past to build meaningful friendships. I ask people how they're doing, I inquire about their lives and take an interest in learning more about them. I ask if they want to hang out, see a show, go hiking, hit up a bar, you name it. But nobody ever makes time for me. Nobody asks me how I'm doing or how my life is going. Nobody takes an interest in learning more about me. When I invite them to do anything they always have other plans, or aren't in the mood. Or worse, they agree to hang out and then cancel later. I'd get it if it happened every now and then. Life happens and I can't expect people to make me the center of their attention. But it always happens. Every single time I reach out or try to be a friend, there's always a reason or an excuse as to why they can't or don't want to. Every single time. I have noone.

Eventually I just stopped trying. I isolated myself. And now I've just pretty much accepted that I'm just meant to be alone. Because no matter how hard I try, no matter where or how I try to make friends, and no matter who I try to be friends with, it just seems like a fact that nobody is interested in me, my life or who I am. Whether it's "popular" people, or other loners who seem to have relatively small groups of friends, I always feel like an outcast.

[TerryL]

finding a true friend is not an easy thing to do. many of us are in the same boat and would love a good friend. there are lots of lonely people out there. still, I feel relationships should evolve naturally. if it doesn't click, it doesn't click.

you seem to be a good person, so just stay true to yourself, keep being nice to others and hopefully one day you will find someone who is compatible and who wants to be your friend. maybe do something you enjoy? maybe that might lead to a friend? (I should listen to my own advice;p) all the best to you.

[RoxanneToto]

I feel very similar and did wonder if it was just me - I have had a few friendships that just “clicked” like TerryL mentioned, but a few years later the rejection started anyway (arranging to go out then being flaked on etc). It is incredibly difficult unless you somehow find just the right person, or people, and let things grow from there.

Lots of people are interested in video games, though. Pity there aren’t video game discussion clubs, or maybe there are and I don’t know lol. I’m not sure if mutual interest clubs are the best way, but they seem like a decent option for starting potential friendships? Work colleagues, I agree, aren’t a great pool for finding proper friend material - I get on great with all my colleagues, we’re a great team, but I never see them outside work. I don’t even have anyone’s number and I’ve been there nearly 20 years.

[Fuzzybear]

I also think that work colleagues are not a great pool for finding ''real'' friends.

I have some friends who are also kind of ''weird'' (like me

Maybe if you keep posting you will get to know some of the good people on here.