[nowheretorun]

hi everyone...

i had this question i hope you can help me with. I've been depressed a very long time and during it all, i was mostly sad, with an accent of sad.... but ive known so many, including my mom (who i care for) who seem to have depression accented by anger?

the problem for me is everytime i get around her in this frequent mood, i have to be exteremly careful what i say, how i say it...

she becomes very difficult to help in this stage... mumbles and i cant understand what she's saying so i have to ask her again and again what she's saying... instead of speaking up next time though its the same charade over and over...

and she acts extrememly unsatisfied or appreciative... like im just in the way... then she needs something and her whole attitude changes... becomes caring and thoughtful..

ive been on this rollercoaster so much... i get real tired of trying to help and being returned to the bottom of the food chain again once her needs are met...

i love my mom and want to help her, but this really doesnt help...

i know there's little that can be done to help unless she wants to, but it seems its never going to change for her..

i just needed to vent... thanks..

[kebsfroggy]

It must be very frustrating for you. Sorry, this frog of little brain has no answers.

Having your own issues and then dealing with the unpredictability of your mother's mood must cause you a great deal of stress.

Mad/Sad does happen (froggy raises hand) but not as a constant state. Usually I'll lash out because my unstable emotions just can't take any more. Usually short lived and I'm remorseful afterwards.

My Mom always said I was an award winner when it came to pitching a hissy fit. Maybe that's why I'm taking meds for my blood pressure.

[mrsmoggles]

mad/sad happens quite a bit. i have dealt with it a lot. I usually get sad/sad though. The lashing out in anger from those I love is really hard to take and sends me into a spiral straight down...I hit the ground hard if I am not able to put their anger in perspective.

I don't have any advice as you are right...you can't help her unless she wants to be helped.

melanie

[Perna]

I think older, ill people get mad/sad as part of their illness. If she's been that way most of her life though, hard for her to change I think.

You're a really good son, nowhere. I don't think I'd complain about myself given all you do and are trying to do? Judge yourself by your good standards instead of your mother's sick ones.