Depression Vent Room for Misfits

buddha1too · Feb 03, 2021 at 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saunder

Should I feel quilty about praying that I die naturally in my sleep? Don't want my son, long time girlfriend, & brother to be more ashamed of me. I'm not strong enough to ask for help at this stage. I know what is offered if I end up in hospital again. Art class, other groups offered can't help me.

Guilt has the potential to be a pretty toxic emotion, so go easy on that. Since you're here posting about your feelings, I'd say that's a pretty good step towards getting some help...even though this is just a virtual platform. In addition, since you pray you must have faith in something, which is a definite plus. I share your your reservations about hospitalization, though. Hang in there & keep checking in here, Saunder. Reaching out is a strength, not a weakness.

Saunder · Feb 03, 2021 at 11:34 PM

Thank you TunedOut. Having trouble doing simple things on this site. Thought I had previously thanked you for prayers. Take care

Deilla · Feb 04, 2021 at 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thirty shades

I hide from the world.

I guess this means I am a misfit

It is safer that way because there are lots of triggers out there.

I can relate. I hide from the world too. Each interaction is stressful. The more time passes, the more I want to retreat.

Breaking Dawn · Feb 04, 2021 at 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saunder

Should I feel quilty about praying that I die naturally in my sleep? Don't want my son, long time girlfriend, & brother to be more ashamed of me. I'm not strong enough to ask for help at this stage. I know what is offered if I end up in hospital again. Art class, other groups offered can't help me.

Dear @Saunder, The way you're feeling is very sad.

I hope you will start to feel stronger & more hopeful soon. Do you have anyone you can talk to, a therapist, a friend? I myself have felt this way & I got better later. I think some encouragement from the right person could make a difference & help give you the strength you need. Please hang in there, ok? And meanwhile we are here for you.

Deilla · Feb 04, 2021 at 02:33 AM

Today I am tired and stressed out. That is not helping my depression. The increase in my AD is not helping anymore. I see my pnurse next week. I'm afraid to ask for a change. Her last suggestion was to put me on a med not covered by my insurance.

Purple,Violet,Blue · Feb 04, 2021 at 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saunder

Should I feel quilty about praying that I die naturally in my sleep? Don't want my son, long time girlfriend, & brother to be more ashamed of me. I'm not strong enough to ask for help at this stage. I know what is offered if I end up in hospital again. Art class, other groups offered can't help me.

So sorry, Saunder

My heart goes out to you

Those thoughts are a natural reaction to your pain and exhaustion. Please do keep interacting as much as you can here, and be assured that you are amongst people who want to help

Fuzzybear · Feb 04, 2021 at 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saunder

Should I feel quilty about praying that I die naturally in my sleep? Don't want my son, long time girlfriend, & brother to be more ashamed of me. I'm not strong enough to ask for help at this stage. I know what is offered if I end up in hospital again. Art class, other groups offered can't help me.

I'm sorry Saunder

I think those thoughts are a natural part (or result) of your exhaustion and pain. (I have not been in hospital but I would find the thought scary) People here understand and want to listen. Big hugs

Fuzzybear · Feb 04, 2021 at 10:20 PM

Fuzzybear · Feb 04, 2021 at 10:39 PM

tough ''love''

I do not think this is ''love'' at all

Fuzzybear · 11:40 PM

East17 · Feb 06, 2021 at 08:42 AM

I don't really feel as though I belong anywhere, that I don't fit in. I hope I can fit in here.

Mood is so low at the moment. Haven't seen anyone f2f (apart from OH) for 11 months, all MH appointments got cancelled and CPN reduced phone contact down to once a month, even though she knows I've been struggling with very dark thoughts. It looks as though 1st vaccinations for everyone 50 and above may not be until May, which means 2nd dose won't be until August. That's another 6 months of no in person contact. I don't know how I'm going to make it.

Skeezyks · Feb 06, 2021 at 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by East17

I don't really feel as though I belong anywhere, that I don't fit in. I hope I can fit in here.

Mood is so low at the moment. Haven't seen anyone f2f (apart from OH) for 11 months, all MH appointments got cancelled and CPN reduced phone contact down to once a month, even though she knows I've been struggling with very dark thoughts. It looks as though 1st vaccinations for everyone 50 and above may not be until May, which means 2nd dose won't be until August. That's another 6 months of no in person contact. I don't know how I'm going to make it.

Purple,Violet,Blue · Feb 06, 2021 at 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Fuzzy in the rain

Purple,Violet,Blue · Feb 06, 2021 at 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by East17

I don't really feel as though I belong anywhere, that I don't fit in. I hope I can fit in here.

Mood is so low at the moment. Haven't seen anyone f2f (apart from OH) for 11 months, all MH appointments got cancelled and CPN reduced phone contact down to once a month, even though she knows I've been struggling with very dark thoughts. It looks as though 1st vaccinations for everyone 50 and above may not be until May, which means 2nd dose won't be until August. That's another 6 months of no in person contact. I don't know how I'm going to make it.

Sorry, East17, that's a really tough situation. No wonder you're struggling

You certainly do fit in here, though

TunedOut · Feb 07, 2021 at 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by East17

I don't really feel as though I belong anywhere, that I don't fit in. I hope I can fit in here.

Mood is so low at the moment. Haven't seen anyone f2f (apart from OH) for 11 months, all MH appointments got cancelled and CPN reduced phone contact down to once a month, even though she knows I've been struggling with very dark thoughts. It looks as though 1st vaccinations for everyone 50 and above may not be until May, which means 2nd dose won't be until August. That's another 6 months of no in person contact. I don't know how I'm going to make it.

Skeezyks · Feb 09, 2021 at 02:30 PM

I have a dentist appointment in less than an hour!

Purple,Violet,Blue · Feb 09, 2021 at 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

I have a dentist appointment in less than an hour!

Oh, I hate them so much

Hope it went OK

Deilla · Feb 09, 2021 at 08:13 PM

I'm struggling a bit tonight. One of my main problems is low energy. It's difficult to get things done. But I can relax now. I just finished up my chores. I will use REST and try to distract myself from my depression.

Purple,Violet,Blue · Feb 09, 2021 at 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deilla

I'm struggling a bit tonight. One of my main problems is low energy. It's difficult to get things done. But I can relax now. I just finished up my chores. I will use REST and try to distract myself from my depression.

Hi, Deilla

I was wondering how you've been doing

Skeezyks · Feb 12, 2021 at 04:27 PM

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Saunder Member Member Since Apr 2009 Location: California, USA Posts: 106 15 51 hugs given	Feb 03, 2021 at 11:34 PM #262 Thank you TunedOut. Having trouble doing simple things on this site. Thought I had previously thanked you for prayers. Take care

Deilla Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2017 Location: Limsa Lominsa Posts: 29,401 (SuperPoster!) 6 49.2k hugs given	Feb 04, 2021 at 02:33 AM #265 Today I am tired and stressed out. That is not helping my depression. The increase in my AD is not helping anymore. I see my pnurse next week. I'm afraid to ask for a change. Her last suggestion was to put me on a med not covered by my insurance. __________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’

Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,331 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Feb 04, 2021 at 10:20 PM #268 __________________

Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,331 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Feb 04, 2021 at 10:39 PM #269 tough ''love'' I do not think this is ''love'' at all __________________

Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,331 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Feb 04, 2021 at 11:21 PM #270 __________________ Last edited by Fuzzybear; Feb 04, 2021 at 11:40 PM..

Skeezyks Disreputable Old Troll Member Since Oct 2015 Location: The Star of the North Posts: 32,762 (SuperPoster!) 8 17.4k hugs given	Feb 09, 2021 at 02:30 PM #276 I have a dentist appointment in less than an hour!

Deilla Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2017 Location: Limsa Lominsa Posts: 29,401 (SuperPoster!) 6 49.2k hugs given	Feb 09, 2021 at 08:13 PM #278 I'm struggling a bit tonight. One of my main problems is low energy. It's difficult to get things done. But I can relax now. I just finished up my chores. I will use REST and try to distract myself from my depression. __________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’

Skeezyks Disreputable Old Troll Member Since Oct 2015 Location: The Star of the North Posts: 32,762 (SuperPoster!) 8 17.4k hugs given	Feb 12, 2021 at 04:27 PM #280