Looking for accountability partners (task check in) #2

Mom’s surgery went well yesterday. I am taking a vacation from caregiving duties for 8 days…I might have mentioned that. It will start 10/16. I’m looking forward to it as I need it badly. Today I will care for mom, run errands, make calls and work on the house. I’ll try to slide in some inner work and self hypnosis.

I hope everyone has a good day!

Thank you, Jennifer! It's all the thoughts. I mean it is easy to say I'll do this, but then all the " inner protests" (in thoughts) want it other ways. The depressed thoughts are creeping in: "I am no good, I will not make it"...

I have to try and try and try again! There is nothing else to do other then to accept the situation: "Dear GoGo, it is naturally for depressed people to think as you do. Just try to go on and slowly, slowly it will go better!"

Congratulations! This will be good for you!

GoGo, have you read Feeling Great by David Burns? You might like it.

I got so much done yesterday. I could have cut a day off this trip but decided to pace myself.

Thank you for the advice. I looked into it now at Amazon. Seems great. May be I will look more into it later. For the time being I am repeating all the lessons from another CBT self-help book. It's about the same topics, changing thinking.

Thanks again!

I have read in an old book and repeated old stuff. I have been to the grocery and I have made meals.

Tomorrow I hope to be able to do the following:

- Short rest after breakfast
- Physical exercises
- Self hypnosis
- Food
- Shower
- Gather trash and get it out.
- Let the self-going vacuum machine do it's work in the living room while I repeat my CBT book.
- Make dinner, eat it and then rest.
- Do bathroom if enough energy

May all of you have a good Friday!

It's a great book. I read it last year but am in a book club for it now and enjoy going more in depth in a small group. I go back and forth on the CBT. I love it in principle but sometimes wish I was cured already. Since I started tracking my blood sugar, I also see patterns between highs/lows and my moods/state of being which makes me wonder how much is really under my control and how much is just chemical.

I cut my trip short and came home early. The weather was gorgeous but I wrapped up my work far ahead of schedule. I'd hoped to visit one more place. I reached out last week for an appointment but they didn't get back to me until yesterday, at which point the only time slot they had would have required me to extend my trip. I just got a bad feeling from the person I was corresponding with but maybe I shot myself in the foot, I don't know, because now I will have to do without whatever I might have found at that place.

I am not sure about today.


1. Catch up on emails.
2. Type up recent findings.
3. Hike

It must feel good to go deep in a group.

Everything is chemical. If you smile, there are some processes and so it is if you cry (other processes of course). Even thinking starts some processes in the brain.

It is the link between though - feeling - action (or the other way around) that is interesting. But of course there are "things" outside us that impacts our mood as well. There have been times where I thought I was depressed and so it was only the blood sugar. I try to measure it regularly now and if I suddenly become sleepy I run to measure it. That helps me to say to myself that it is only the blood glucose, no depression at this time.

I am repeating my CBT notes from years back, reading and doing the exercises recommended in "Breaking the patterns of depression". I have also bought a thin book from the "Get self-help" page. I'll post a video on it at the end here. This thin book is really helpful. It is drilling in new ways to think and react, related to CBT. It works for me.

For now I have made an appointment with a therapist, not CBT (lol). I need someone to talk to for a short time .

Here is the link to the video ( Scroll down to the video):

The Decider Skills | The Decider

I have been busy today and I have been relaxing with games. Tomorrow, I will have litter box duty. I hope everyone has a nice weekend.

I looked at the preview of the Decider book - it does look very helpful and approachable. When I'm in the weeds, a wall of text can be too much.

Yesterday was not a great day. I never really got started. I felt unwell, possibly due to lack of sleep and doubling up on meds I keep forgetting to take.


Today I will focus on
1) cleaning the house
2) homework reading assignment

It is very helpful to me. Using it is very simple, it's all about repeating and repeating. I repeat some part of it almost every morning and when I don't feel well I find myself asking myself: "Are you feeling the FIZZ, what number on the scale? Then it is to use the STOPP technique and suddenly the intense feeling has passed and I am occupied with doing the Decider work well and then go on with my everyday work. Yes, it is useful to me, but, as already told, I need something more to come over the bump for the time being. I am not in therapy now, but have made an appointment with this therapist that knows me well, so a few talking hours with her will probably get me on right track again. I have anxiety. It is terrible and I have swallowed some Benzos (had a moment with deep suicidal thoughts), but if I am careful the following days and keep out of the way of some people who has shaken my inner comfort, hopefully it all ends well.

Have a good weekend!

I took care of the litter box and I did laundry. I will have another litter box to clean tomorrow. I will also take a shower. I hope everyone is doing well.

I met my daughter halfway yesterday for a meal and to visit. What a mood lifter! Today is back to more mundane things. Today:

1. Errands
2. Calls about vacation
3. Clean the den

I hope everyone has a good day!

Yesterday I finally started a task I've been dreading and which I hope to finish by the end of the month. I just need to chip away at it a little each day. I have been neglecting things around the house for quite some time. I would like to start taking care of those things as well. Sometimes it feels like I just need a schedule, thirty minutes a day on this, thirty on that. My expectations for this week will be low because my husband is on vacation.


1. Chipping away.

2. Dishes
3. Cooking

I have been going through my morning routine. That's all I can handle right now. And then I have a med appointment. I will relax later. I hope everyone has a good day.

I have two therapy sessions tomorrow and a one hour consultation with a new med provider. I also have to take my brother to the doctor. Those things listed will take up the majority of my day. I’ll continue work on the house as time allows.

I hope everyone has a productive day tomorrow.

Feeling slightly stressed today. I have a homework assignment due in two weeks which I have not started and I really should to get it out of the way. I have quite a few commitments this week and just the thought of them stresses me out. I have too many small tasks to list today so my goal is to use my task list and to fit in a good workout.

I used my lists and exercised. I have a lot of errands today and am not sure how much work I will fit in around them.

Today I want to use my lists again and accept that I can only do so much in a day.

I'm trying to relax and prepare for a busy day. I have some tidying up to do first. Later I will play games. I hope everyone is well.

so far:

- got up

- got dressed

- had a healthy fruit salad

- done my quiz..

for later:

- say goodbye to a friend and give her the card that I made

- watch some tv from last night

- cook paprika chicken for dinner

- hopefully not overeat too much

- check emails