Looking for accountability partners (task check in) #2

I am probably going to take most of today off as well.

1. Put away camping stuff
2. More yard work
3. Meal plan
4. Weekly review

I am going to finish up my Zoom meeting on aging today. I found out my nephew who is in the military is visiting today.

1. Ageless seminar
2. Visit with Nephew
3. Follow up on Ageless tips

I hope everyone has a peaceful Sunday.

I'm so tired. I need not only hope to go on but an actual solution. I need to try and describe my issue clearly.

I have had this issue in the last 3.5 years (depression, cPTSD, whatever).

I try to keep working (remote work, part time in theory), but I don't have enough support or help or something is missing because it means I literally have zero time or energy for nothing else.

I wanted to do training, or just have fun, or anything, but I can't because if the work task needs more than a couple of hours, I end up staying up all night, not being able to work, I just feel stress, pressure, overload, crisis, eventually bad emotions, everything, then maybe by morning I'm able to start and then I work during the next day without any sleep until I finish it.

That completely messes up my days until I recover. By the time I recover, I have to do the next "too big" work task like this. So I don't have time to do training, or to do anything else, 90% of the days. It has started to wear my health down too.

It's been like this for 3.5 years.

I keep missing deadlines anyway. That's been a problem before.

I have had so enough of it. Sometimes I have good days but then the bad days come back anyway. Too many of them are like this upside down mess. And I'm stuck in there, I am not seeing a way out of it without external help.

I hate how I have NO life and I am concerned about my health.

Any suggestions please?

The answer/solution is within you, Alive99. You may need a coach or a therapist to help you find it. But you know what works best for you. Meditate and try to connect with your inner wisdom. I wish you success.

I worked on organizing my kitchen and I did some painting today. I'm taking the rest of the day off. I hope all of you are well. Happy Sunday!!

Thank you. Unfortunately, I'm looking for a quicker solution than that. This approach would take years for me and I can't wait that long with this.

Basically, I'm posting and sharing about this problem because I'm looking for external help, and any kind of help is appreciated if it's a concrete idea, specific question or concrete suggestion or concrete help, anything that's not general but concrete, specific so I can actually try and take action.

@Alive99 have you tried going for a walk when you feel stuck? I find that gives me new energy sometimes. What have you tried so far to fix this problem?

I'm feeling especially meh and indecisive today.

1. Walk
2. Class
3. Homework

Thank you for the input!

Yeah, walks don't give me much energy.

I um, tried to read self-help books, tried therapy, tried to think a lot about it (I'm not good at thinking deeply analytically lol)

I usually tried to manage it alone (unsuccessfully. any change is very slow over the years, there is change but very gradual and slow and it's killing me).

Sometimes I also asked for help, family member did help me by being around (she cancelled some hike to be there for me once) and it worked AWESOME but she cannot spend too much time on me so it didn't last for long. Just that one time, but it was awesome, it worked so well, her paying attention like that.


I have thought of something today though....it's emotion management related, what I thought of. I don't know if it's a hard limit in my brain or if I can get around it. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to go into details about it in this thread. Should I post it in another thread? Would (any of) you look at it if I did so?

What I do know is that outside help like the above was awesome because it gave me extra energy and lifted my mood

Nothing I do alone lifts it like that or it lasts for a short time only



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Good luck to your class and homework, and to everyone else too. I'm going to go to bed now lol. Then I'm gonna have to get up late evening then gonna have to work 10-15 hours straight. Pressing & inflexible deadline

I enjoyed my visit with my nephew yesterday. I’m decidedly more upbeat today.

1. Zoom meeting
2. Brisk walk in the park
3. Float in the pool

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

Alive99 I totally related to what you said "What I do know is that outside help like the above was awesome because it gave me extra energy and lifted my mood". I have noticed that myself in my life. I'm working on asking people for what I need more often. Sometimes just asking if they have time for coffee or a zoom chat during covid helps me feel more connected. I'm by far no expert, but sometimes I use work as a way to avoid having to be vulnerable.

Thanks for being vulnerable here.

I haven't posted my tasks list in over a week. I had to have one of my two cats put to sleep last Thursday and it's been a rough few days.

Tonight I thought of this forum and I'm glad to read the recent posts. I have only two things I want to accomplish tomorrow: 1. Take my car to mechanic to have AC repaired, 2. Return some clothes that I bought a week ago that didn't fit.

I hope everyone has a good evening and productive Tuesday!

I prepared a meal today and worked on a couple of projects. I also took out the trash. Tomorrow, I will:

1. Do emissions.
2. Celebrate that it's done.
3. Relax for the day.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!!

Thanks for your comment.

Yeah, I think it requires taking a kind of responsibility to be able to say all this out loud.

Hm. It would be nice if I could ask people to go with me for a coffee.

Not many people to ask here tbh. Even though yes it would probably help with mood some, though probably would not help enough.


What I meant by outside help was someone actively paying attention to me doing the tasks I need to be doing. But specifically either IRL attention or if online then a pretty strict approach, not too informal. Actively checking on what I've done, and in a kinda structured and regular way.

In the former case I just feel like someone cares and that lifts my mood enough to do things. In the latter case I just feel the obligation strongly enough to be able to come out of my head and do what I have to do.


I don't know if that made sense.

Do you or anyone else have any idea where to look for this? Again, being informal accountability partners is not as effective for me, I've tried that already.

@Alive99 That's awesome you figured out what you need! I am not sure where there is a a more formal accountability group but there must be one out there.
@TJean I'm sorry about your cat

Yesterday I figured out that if I spent 2 hours per day working on my portfolio, I could finish it by the due date without the 12 hour days I put in last time. That's probably where I need to start my day.

1. Portfolio work
2. Exercise
3. Homework

Yesterday, I cleaned my cousin’s house and helped out at Vacation Bible School. In addition to Bipolar 1, I also have panic disorder so it was rough. Loud music and lots of energetic kids. I couldn’t wait to get home and crash. I didn’t want to volunteer. My cousin volunteered me. Two more nights to go.

Today, I would like to;

1. Paint
2. Watch a YouTube channel called Therapy in a Nutshell
3. Work in my DBT book

I hope everyone has a good day!

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The thing is I figured it out 3.5 years ago lol , practically within a few weeks after the whole problem started.

I never have been able to find the external help though. No one ever bothered to help me with it IRL by truly happily paying attention to me about it. And online, I think only that strict approach would work. I've tried the informal approach online with a few people on this forum and elsewhere too, but it didn't work for long.

3.5 years ago I remember I talked to two therapists/psychiatrists about how I need this, but they ignored me even though I was really clearly in distress strongly from feeling so overwhelmed trying to do it all alone.

And I have a social worker I've been going to for over 3 years once a week (except it was only email during lockdown). She's a really nice, cool, fun woman. But she didn't really take me seriously about it either.


I don't understand why nobody does, I mean IRL they don't. Yes to be precise - That family member once did give attention but that was the result of a fight too because asking nicely for it did not work.

Mystery to me as to why no one takes it seriously IRL. My mother says I seem just fine because I'm able to smile around her and other family members. Maybe that has to do with it. With not being taken seriously with this issue, I mean.

I could totally fall on my knees and put a plea out there but I don't know how. These 3.5 years have been so long.

And I was not able to work for 15 hours in one go tonight/this morning. Nope I got half of it done and then I saw I wasn't gonna be done soon enough with the rest for the deadline (((((((((((

I took two Xanax to try and sleep before I continue working on it but I'm not feeling well at all.

I'd really like some support with this, somewhere, somehow. It's just too horrible as it is now.

I lost a fun online friend over it too, she said OK she'll try to help in the "strict" way but then she freaked out and we never started on it and then it just went down the drain, the whole friendship thingy. But it's ok, it was online only.

It's just funny how so many people keep telling me to think about it, or do whatever else, or just plain ignore it when I am directly stating my need. I don't understand what's the rocket science about it. It's simple words and I express it directly. What doesn't work about it with people????

(I'm not asking anyone on this forum to help me with it though, I'm just pouring out in general about the whole mess with these 3.5 years)


End of pouring out ..... I can never share this with anyone IRL ......


(I put that above in bold and big letters too be sure no one misunderstands me!!!!! I am not demanding anything here!!!!!!!!! Becuase last night on the chat on this site I asked for help with "brainstorming" to figure out where to look for some place where they would be able and willing to help and I just got some horrible response there too So I wanna make sure it doesn't come off the wrong way!!!!!!!!!!!)



That is cool. You see, this is the thingy that just doesn't work for me in recent years (3.5 years). I just can't plan it out nicely like that and execute that plan. I used to be fine with it, before this problem started.

I don't understand why, other than, I really need that external point.


Good luck with your portfolio!

I did my emissions test and renewed my tags. I celebrated with a nice meal and I pretty much relaxed for most of the day. Tomorrow, I will:

1. Do a therapy session.
2. Clean my kitchen.
3. Do some reading and a workshop.

I hope everyone is well. Have a wonderful day and best of luck with your tasks!

Alive 99 I do relate. I tried doing an accountability group with some other consultants and found I was the one having problems keeping the commitments and then felt worse because they didn't feel challenged enough.

I have struggled with motivating myself a lot this last 6 months. I wish I had good advice, but I too feel lost as to how to find people or a group irl that will help.

I recommend the r/GetDisciplined subreddit and their Potential Central Discord server for new ideas on staying motivated and task buddies. I also like some of the anti-procrastination methods David Burns talks about in his Feeling Good Wookbook.


Yesterday wasn't bad. No exercise, but I am almost done with my homework and worked quite a bit on my portfolio. I also attended a sort of painful networking Zoom event. So tired of Zoom. Today I am going to make time for a hike.
1. Hike
2. Portfolio
3. Errands

I need to refer to the David Burns workbook - that is good advice.
I think we are all sick of Zoom. Good job on planning a hike!