[Deilla]

I feel stressed this morning. I don't think I got enough sleep. I have lots I have to do today. I would take a nap now but I'm waiting on a delivery.

[3rd rock]

I really hate everything about myself.

[3rd rock]

My most recent project has three ratings on Amazon, one five-star in two four-star. So that's good I guess.

[Breaking Dawn]

I wish I could get me some energy.

[Deilla]

I just found out what my co-pay will be for a carpal tunnel release and I don't have any way to pay for it. I really need the surgery but it's not possible. I guess I will keep getting injections. I feel terribly disappointed and defeated.

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

My most recent project has three ratings on Amazon, one five-star in two four-star. So that's good I guess.

That sounds very good to me.

[imchet]

Finally, I seem to be trending up while still having ups and downs the addition of a second generation antipsychotic and TMS seem to be helping. I'm daring to feel a bit more hopeful.

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My friend and I had an upsetting phone call last night. He had told some people at his house yesterday that I'm lonely, depressed and want to kill myself. I asked him why did he ever bring that up while talking to others. He couldn't answer me and hung up. So we're going to split up. And, the way, I am not thinking of ending it all and never have.

I don't understand it. I was being nice and generous to him yesterday because I went to pick him up at his house and bring him over to my place. The reason for it is because his wife was hosting a bridge party with her friends. I went out of my way for him because he had no place to go with having a bad back from a fall he had a couple of weeks ago. Also his eyesight is not good.

I try to be so nice and helpful to people and this is the thanks I get. I guess I'll just remain lonely because there are no good people around anymore. It seems like people are just takers and not givers.

[hvert]

I'm thinking this morning about the sad state of my friendships. I want to go hiking today but can't even think of anyone who might want to come. I often hike alone and enjoy it but it would be nice to know someone nearby who also liked to hike.

[Breaking Dawn]

I've fulfilled some important goals lately. Many more I still need to do. I'm hoping I can accomplish more today.

[Deilla]

I feel somewhat okay at the moment. I was sad this morning. I felt very alone. I no longer have a therapist. I have tried looking for a new one and no one's accepting new patients. So I am journaling, posting here, playing games and doing chores. Later I will meditate.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m honestly not having the post op depression like I thought I would. I read somewhere that the more surgeries you have the easier the recovery is. So I’ve had 3 in less then a year and I’m not feeling the severe depression I felt the first and second time. Some days this past week were better then others though. I did feel a bit down in the dumps about my sisters behavior towards me. Then that caused some issues. But those issues were more stress and food related then depression related.

But no I don’t feel like my personality was changed at least not in a bad way, and I’m not in severe pain that would contribute to depression. This has all been pretty surprising.

[Buffy01]

I been feeling really depressed lately especially today. Everything that I had done today has been wrong. I feel like I need three scoop of ice cream with lots of hot fudge and Carmal and candy on top with the kind of day I had.

[rjdb]

At home and watching my son. I cannot stop stressing about work.

[regretful]

It's just hard to be in this depressed state. Nothing seems to matter; even some of the things that used to bring me enjoyment - like spending time with family and friends - is no longer fulfilling. This is such a conundrum to me because I know what it takes to get out of this depression - I just don't have the energy to do any of what it takes. I do sincerely wish all of you well in your personal struggle with this invisible monster.

[D-a-n]

Stress and anxiety: 10/10
Depression: 6/10
Confidence: 2/10
Ability to see a positive future: 0/10

[Deilla]

I finally found a therapist. I asked my med provider. I have an appointment this Wednesday. I am so pleased.

[cinnamonsun]

Getting ready to make my morning tea and put together some plans or intentions for the day. I found an essential oil for letting go, and am experimenting with it. I've never really tried aromatherapy, I'm willing to see if it helps. I want to read some books and maybe do some artwork. My mood isn't in the best place, but I'm thankful I was able to sleep, and maybe it can be a good day.

[regretful]

What makes matters worse with depression is to have what I feel is no purpose in life. Depression is an evil companion, and I wish all of you the best in your struggle.

[cinnamonsun]

I did a...I will call it a ritual where I just made a simple list of beliefs, habits, and ideas that no longer serve me, spoke them out loud, and then ripped up the pieces of paper. I did this again with people I needed to forgive and let go of. This did bring me some peace. I want to start over with a clean slate.

Sometimes when we are walking down a path, we feel we are leaving something behind. And we are. But there's also a path ahead of us...and there's a lot down the path that we haven't experienced yet. So despite leaving something behind, you are also on the journey to something new.

That is where my thoughts are tonight.