Sucked down by no motivation.

Spent today on sofa in front of TV. Ate plenty.

Now I'll do some housework. Maybe change the sheets on my bed. I just want to get into the bed. If I get something accomplished, I'll probably feel better.

I did nothing after posting the last note. Continued to do nothing for another two days.

Well, about 8 hours ago, I got a sudden jolt of ambition. I gathered up large bags and baskets of laundry and drove to the laundromat. I got it all done! I even enjoyed doing it. At first, I was only intending to drop it off at a "wash & fold" service. The weather was mild out and I got suddenly ambitious. What a great feeling to have left my hermitage and accomplished something! It feels so good to have regained some self-respect.

Now . . . if I can get up tomorrow . . . and build on this . . . before the momentum drains away . . . I might be on the road to feeling okay again.

I just hope I didn't pick up some COVID bugs. In my life, the ending of a depressive episode is such a great relief. This has been a really bad, long episode. I got to push ahead tomorrow and not slip back.

In between episodes, I do so well. Let this be the start of such an interval. I got to drum up the resolve.