Major Depression with Psychotic Features, anyone?

I was wondering whether anyone shares this diagnosis ...

I almost lost my life to it 8 years ago and I am taking a lot of meds, including not 1, not 2, but 3 antidepressants...

How is it for you? Also, how do you cope and live with it?

I have been diagnosed with depression by a psychiatrist. I never shared with him or a psychotherapist that I also experienced paranoia and delusions. Since I have never had hallucinations I don't know if I have had depression with psychotic features or that I have ever met the official qualifications for this disorder.

My heart goes out to anyone with depression especially if that depression is loaded with additional crushing burdens. And my heart goes out to you. Hopefully many people will see your post and respond to it with more helpful words than my poor words. Sorry I could not be helpful to you.

@Yaowen you are so kind. I had mainly delusions with one hallucination during a panic attack for which I called the ambulance.

In my case, there were other symptoms such as heightened agitation, insomnia, loss of appetite, weight-loss, alcohol use (an attempt to save myself) and constipation...

My mother had to fly into town and then a friend had to stay with me... it took a long time to stabilize... Since I'm highly functioning I was turned away from 2 hospitals as they thought it was just anxiety, but I actually told the nurse at one hospital what I thought was my diagnosis (and I was right!) and he didn't believe me.

Anyway, it is a long story...

Thank you for sharing yours, Yaowen, I appreciate it and wish you peace.

Thank you @TheGal for your kindness. I really, really appreciate it. Although we are not in the same boat, perhaps we are in separate boats on the same rough sea. I hope we both find safe harbors. Depression is such a brutal illness.

I have major depressive disorder and I suffer from hallucinations. My diagnosis is Schizoaffective Disorder. I do the best that I can. I have a voice that hums all the time. So I create music. If I'm reading or watching TV, I don't hear it.

@Deilla
It's not easy at all, at times...

Thank you for responding and sharing.

I'm at a loss for words today, as I'm not feeling well...

The depression, I find, can be soul-crushing... I have other life events going on and the MDD makes it that more difficult.

I like what you said about doing the best you can...

One day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time...

Singing aloud helps me... so I shall sing...

Thank you and namaste

Depression hurts & changes us, but I've seen that some of us can keep growing, in spite of all of the road blocks/obstacles. I have had some good influences, therapists, books, school, an aunt & teachers, but what seems to help me the most is something within my deep self, that talks to me, ever since I was just a misfit little girl.

Thank you, @Breaking Dawn

It's so good to read your words... very loving, kind and wise.

I, too, was a misfit little girl..

I've had depression/anxiety for 45 years and have had very little relief. When I was first hospitalized in the 1990s the Dr put me on anti-psychotics. I didn't have any delusions or hallucinations but my anxiety was sky high. Dr never did tell me if I was psychotic or not. I'm on geodon and abilify now for my mood. I hate anti-psychotics.

It can be so difficult, cool09... really, really difficult...

Hi TheGal,
I've only just read this thread. I hadn't been able to be around much for a while. I too was a misfit little girl. A psychiatrist once asked me ''were you like the other little girls when you were 5?'' I said ''yes''... I thought I was. But maybe I wasn't. He didn't ask any other questions about my early childhood (if I recall correctly)

Much love