[20oney]

Just going through a lot in my mind at the moment. And this has come up.

I don’t understand what I am doing anymore. I go to therapy regularly and I guess there’s always been some sort of expectation from myself or my therapist that things/I would get better. But it’s been so long now, I don’t have any foresight of things ever getting better anymore

I started thinking about this and like, I don’t know what “better” is. Because I’ve never had anything good. Like, emotionally neglected through childhood, moved out young and struggled through to now. There’s no sunshine and rainbows.

So I guess, I’ve lost sight of what I’m actually trying to achieve by treating my depression with medications or therapy. Because I don’t know what better looks like. I don’t know what I “should” what my life to be like because I honestly just don’t want to hear at all.

This is spinning me out.

Anyone else?

[unaluna]

There are no rules on how to be. Just find your own peace. But its like a cat - you have to wait for it to come to you.

[mote.of.soul]

I just feel that treating your depression, which is what you're doing, is the best way forward, with the idea of reducing the symptoms or ideally quashing them all together obviously. Then you'd see and feel the difference and you'd just live your life differently, in a happier way, a better way. Because, yes, it's hard to imagine something you're yet to experience. I can relate to that from my own journey.🙏

[Nammu]

Perhaps you need to give some thought to contentment, a more realistic goal than happiness. Many people think better means a hallmark movie ending. It can become their moby d I c k. It’s good you are wondering what better means. To clarify it can be very helpful. Knowing that the past can not change and acceptance of the past and moving on with contentment is a good goal.

[Fuzzybear]