[darkfeary]

I am tired. Tired of fighting every second of my life. Tired of looking for answers that I will never find. Tired of trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me and getting nowhere. Tired of feeling insecure, inferior, ashamed, guilty, disgusting, and worthless. Tired of living when I already died a long time ago. Tired of the the constant pain, sadness, worry, fear, stress, sadness, misfortune, loneliness, and hurt. Tired of being invisible, ignored, shunned, and laughed at. Nothing ever works out no matter how hard I work at it or how long. Failure, loss, deterioration. Just done.

[TheGal]

darkfeary, I have felt like this. You describe it well. I'm sorry for your pain.

I had a really bad breakdown a few years ago and it has felt like I died then and that I'm just putting in time. But some days are better than others. I take 3 antidepressants, and an antipsychotic and antianxiolytic. I believe my depression (major depression with psychotic features, as well as GAD and OCD) is cyclical, there are times when the clouds break.

I also have someone to talk to (a social worker) which helps.

Come here and post often, come on chat if you need to connect that way. I hope you find support here virtually, as well as actually in your own life.

What treatments have you tried? Do you have someone to talk to?

Right now you're in the tunnel and you don't see any light at the end of it. Stay with us.

[mote.of.soul]

Oh, darkfeary, please hold on and keep going utilising all of the coping tools in the toolbox - every day no matter how long it takes. They say it's always darkest before the dawn and I'd like you to hold onto that as a truth: not just as a saying but as truth. Because in the end it's mind over matter (imo) .

[darkfeary]

Thanks, everyone but I have battling this curse for the past 18 years with numerous endless treatments and medications and nothing helps really.