[Tsfriday]

i don't want to live. i'm a failure. no, don't tell me i am not. i know the usual lines people say. i am a failure. i'm ugly. a 40 year old ugly man. i'm homeless and i just lost my job because my license is expired and i have to pass an exam to renew but i failed that. i'm too stupid. i don't know why i bother. i'm tired of jobs and i'm tired of trying to find a place to live. it's been like this for me since forever; losing job and housing and going back to my parents back and forth. i'm done. is there a way i can just be in a cabin somewhere where i can die in peace or assisted suicide? i'm done.

[mote.of.soul]

Hang in there buddy please. I can tell you the question of 'why should I bother' has been inside the minds of many members here at MSF including my own in a very real way, and I venture to guess is still part of a lot of people's thinking here as well. Depression, feelings of hopeless and alienation are real things.

For me, in my worst times, I had to find my own reasons to live, and to look very carefully at (my) life which eventually did pay off. You can do it too. Persistence and determination and the will to fight through the darkness were/still are key things to me, and I have a feeling you're like that too.

I don't know of any magical remedy but in our Western societies I do believe talking frankly and openly with the therapists, doctors, and counselors, can help to unravel things and to change the course you find yourself on. Life is such a difficult journey in all sorts of ways for so many people and obviously we aren't an exception.

Just don't lose hope @Tsfriday, and utilise any resources and self help tools you've learned about along the way. Keep posting here too, you may gain some emotional strength or some useful knowledge in doing so.

Sending you a big hug, friend. At the end of the day, we're all the same.🙏

[Gavreel]

If you don't mind, I will pray for you that your situation changes and think you should stay with your family for the time being and try get back on your feet from there. I wish that I could be more help to you. A GoFund page on Facebook may need to be set up for you so you will have to reach out for help, sometimes you have to ask for help. Don't suffer in silence.