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Violetta75
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Default Mar 27, 2024 at 01:00 PM
  #901
I slept in without taking an extra antidepressant. Maybe getting out my anger yelling in my car yesterday helped. At least I didn't do that in town. I feel like I'm wasting the day in bed, and I am. I'm waiting for my younger to get up to bring him a lock for his door. I think I'll just forgive myself today, I have a headache anyways.
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Default Mar 27, 2024 at 01:44 PM
  #902
Feeling numb from yesterday's events but mostly okay.

I can't be mad at Drew, though, cause I love him far too much to leave him, so to speak. Plus I saw him's smile and forgot why I was unhappy.

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Default Mar 27, 2024 at 06:42 PM
  #903
Okay, so things are looking up. I got my nursing practitioner to fill out the required forms; she filled them out right in front of me, at times asking what I wanted her to write. And she even waived the fees they normally charge for paperwork! The next day, I met with the doctor at the local rapid access clinic. He was a very nice man who made the requested referrals. So I should be able to get into detox soon, perhaps in as little as a few days, depending on how long the waitlist is.
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Default Mar 28, 2024 at 11:42 PM
  #904
I cant sleep it's 1 am. So I'm here going to check through the forums. I cleaned today, didn't look for credit but mentioned it to the landlord, asked if he minded, i said I only did a bit. I did the downstairs. He just said ''i think i'll hire someone''... okkk......why pay, he was fine with me doing it before and said he liked how i cleaned. He kicked out the gf of over 5 months and i did figure he'd still be busy rooting her things out, that's why i didn't do a thorough cleaning.

I have no idea why I'm wide awake. I stopped ozempic for maybe 2 months idk, took it yesterday and i think it effects my medications.... it's taking longer for them to digest. My stomach is cramping. done whining
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Default Mar 29, 2024 at 02:35 PM
  #905
Dunno where else I can put this.

Honestly I regret ever being born. I want to put everything I own, everything I have ever loved, on one big bonfire and watch it burn forever
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Default Mar 29, 2024 at 03:09 PM
  #906
@salterfen welcome to MSF. I am sorry that you feel so low.

I once destroyed some things but it did not make the pain I felt go away.

Hope you get the support you are looking for.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message]

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Default Mar 29, 2024 at 09:05 PM
  #907
Things get worse and worse. My monthly insurance premium went up $400, and today I found out my rent will increase by $200. I'll be paying more than $1,000/month for a studio apartment in a small city in a Great Plains state! I can't downgrade any more. Life just does not seem worth it sometimes. Everything always seems to be such a struggle.

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Default Mar 30, 2024 at 12:34 AM
  #908
I'm not sure why someone reported my post. I did not express suicidal ideation.

Thanks so much for the "support." Now I know why I took such a long break.

BYE.
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Default Mar 30, 2024 at 06:34 PM
  #909
I cleaned this morning like I always do on Saturday mornings. Felt good cleaning but after lunch, utter dullness. I didn't go out because of a rainstorm. I think the storm didn't turn out as bad as forecasted which was good. It's drying up now.
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Default Mar 30, 2024 at 09:11 PM
  #910
I'm doing better, since seeing the psychologist and a therapist. I started going to a yoga class. I have a sense of hope now.
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Unhappy Mar 31, 2024 at 09:18 PM
  #911
Ive been fighting my grief all weekend long.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Apr 02, 2024 at 11:50 AM
  #912
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
I'm doing better, since seeing the psychologist and a therapist. I started going to a yoga class. I have a sense of hope now.
Great! 😀

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Unhappy Apr 02, 2024 at 06:31 PM
  #913
I been journaling and and writing letters to those who have hurt me.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Apr 02, 2024 at 07:10 PM
  #914
I'm still doing pretty good. Depression hasn't returned. I easily get very short of breath. Today I went for lung function tests. I blamed my lack of energy on depression, but something physical may also be going on. It may be that diminished lung capacity has lowered my activity tolerance. Or . . . it may be that inactivity has lessened my respiratory capacity. It's like: Which came first - the egg or the chicken?
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Default Apr 02, 2024 at 09:21 PM
  #915
I have learned it will be 2-4 weeks before I can enter detox. This is extremely depressing as I'm having such a rough go of it that I feel like 2-4 weeks may as well be 2-4 years.
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Default Apr 02, 2024 at 11:28 PM
  #916
Im now doing better. Ive been out of here for a time because my other doggie also passed away.
You all can guess how hard it was all. Only five months between one passing and the other.
I have my heart broken But, little by little, Im accepting the loss of the two more precious creatures on Earth.
You can see them on my avatar. They will live in my head and heart until I give my last breath.

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Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON)
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Default Apr 05, 2024 at 04:22 PM
  #917
On Wednesday I went to the rapid access clinic so I could avoid going to the emergency room, but the doctor at the rapid access clinic wound up sending me to the emergency room anyways. At least the doctor at the emergency room sent me home with some medication after treating me with a round of intravenous fluids.
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Default Apr 05, 2024 at 10:30 PM
  #918
I'm kind of depressed today. Still in pajamas. The vacuum cleaner has been sitting in the middle of the living room for weeks. I don't know why I don't just turn it on and go over the carpeting. I have little motivation. I do get out of breath easily. My doctor thinks I may have a loss of lung capacity. I'm going for tests to see if that's true.
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Default Apr 06, 2024 at 12:36 AM
  #919
Kind of an up and down day. Had a huge meltdown at work and broke down and called my husband, but it made me feel really good and I needed to hear his voice and let me know that everything would be okay. But, I feel really good right now talking to a friend and staying up way past my bedtime.

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Default Apr 06, 2024 at 02:02 PM
  #920
Slipped into depression yesterday. Part of me wants to give up. Still in pajamas. Still in bed.
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