[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Deilla

I'm lonely. I feel sadness in my chest, my arms feel heavy and I have a lump in my throat. My head feels stuffy.

I’m lonely too

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by will19

I made it through today. This was a day I wasn't looking forward to. I had all kinds of imaginations on how bad today could be. I pictured a lot of people getting together being noisy and and me being outside of all of it alone. But it didn't turn out that way -thank goodness! It's been very quiet and it and it seemed like those living here went other places. It was what I hoped for. But still I felt bad about being alone and lack of contacts from others on this particular day.

It's all done now. It's over!

I completely understand this feeling.

[emily1890]

I had a **** Christmas, and today is **** as well

I am so lonely that not even an email spammer is wishing me merry christmas

[Rose76]

I didn't get a phone call from either of my sisters on Christmas Eve or Christmas. One texted me that she had COVID. The other just doesn't bother to keep in touch anymore. I never thought this would happen.

[MimiBhaduri0]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I'm desperate to feel normal again. Instead, I'm just getting worse. I wonder if this will ever be over.

Exactly what I am going through

[Rose76]

I'm not doing too good. I tell myself this can't last forever.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by emily1890

I had a **** Christmas, and today is **** as well

I am so lonely that not even an email spammer is wishing me merry christmas

I’m

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I didn't get a phone call from either of my sisters on Christmas Eve or Christmas. One texted me that she had COVID. The other just doesn't bother to keep in touch anymore. I never thought this would happen.

I’m no one called you and your sister :sadhug has covid

My sister called me this morning. First time we talked in about two weeks. She didn't sound all that great. I don't think there's just something wrong with her arm broken, I think there's something mentally wrong also. Too bad! Other than that, nothing much to report about.

[3rd rock]

I have made the decision to quit drinking, and I am coming up with a plan.

I got up early this morning (6 AM) to do the laundry. And then one of the dryers didn't work after the wash was finished. I usually use two dryers, but I could only use one because another dryer was out of order. I got my clothes nice and dry after all but it was a bit of a hassle. The apartment manager was nice to refund the money I lost. Both dryers got fixed after my laundry was done.

Other than that, nothing much. Still feeling depressed.

[Rose76]

Went to the post office, the pharmacy and got my hair cut. Not a big whup-di-do to brag about, but it's better than how I've been doing. Maybe tomorrow, I'll improve a smidgeon more. Maybe I'll feel normal eventually.

[3rd rock]

I've accomplished some writing, and I hope to finish the chapter I'm currently working on this weekend. Then I'm going to ask a couple of people I know to give me some feedback on it, rather than waiting until a full first draft of the manuscript is complete. I have the next ten days off work, and I hope to use much of that time in writing. I should be able to get another chapter done during that time.

My new keyboard came in the mail, a few days earlier than expected. It's excellent, I much prefer these mechanical keyboards.

[hiddenaway]

I could say I'm not still heartbroken that I didn't get the one thing I really, truly wanted for Christmas but that would be the biggest lie cause I am.

...and before you say 'go by yourself,' that's not an option cause I don't drive and public transportation terrifies me.

[Rose76]

I'm still in a pit. Just tired. No energy.

[T4bbyCat]

Happy New Year! Everyone I know sleeps through it, so it's a bit hard to celebrate all by myself 😂

[Rose76]

It was a down day for me. Maybe I'll improve when the holidays are out of the way.

Today's my birthday. It wasn't much of a birthday at all. I only got a phone call from my local friend and the friend I went to college with. My brother and sister didn't call. Also, no gifts and cake. Wow, what a hoot this birthday was!

[Rose76]

I still haven't managed to launch myself into a normal state of mind. I think about asking my PCP for a referral to psych services. Then I back off of that idea. Last spring, my PCP offered to refer me to be seen by a therapist. I waited to hear about an appointment. It never happened. I guess she just forgot . . . or something. It wasn't the first time she made an offer and didn't follow through.

Over the years, I was told multiple times that I did not seem to have any real psych problem. Back over 30 years ago, I went to the psych services center near me. While an intake nurse was interviewing me, we could hear a male patient yelling and kicking up a fuss, further down the hall. The nurse with me said, "We tend to prioritize a person like him over a person like you." I ended up agreeing to just go home. A few days later, I bought a gun. Some years back, this psych center was in the news. A woman who went there seeking help was turned away. A few hours later, she hung herself. Her family was suing.

I think I better just try to clean up my apartment. Getting that done would make me feel better. Then I need to find activities in my community to participate in. Every evening I say that I'll do better tomorrow. Then, the next day, I fail to make progress. I need to make specific plans and a schedule. The thought of doing that makes me want to go back to bed. This tiredness is awful.

I just have to make myself do what I know I need to do. I think that tomorrow I will make an appointment with a person who will help me clean up my place. I've hired this person in the past. She's expensive, but worth the money.

[Deilla]

I'm feeling a little bit better at the moment even though I was ghosted 4 days ago by my gf. It hurts but I started looking at the positives