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#1
Feb 06, 2008, 07:48 PM
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I just want to share with all of you what it's like for me to have depression.
I am sitting there tied to a chair, I had been sitting there for months and I am so worn down. I am tired, I hurt I am so confused. Life seems to flash before my eyes and I wonder have I even done anything? Have I been worthy enough to be a person? Am I going to be able to get out of this chair? See the chair is in this dark cold hole, that is so deep I see no light. When I do see light I wonder if my eyes are playing tricks on me. Light is so little sitting in this hole in this chair. I sit and wonder, what do I have to offer this world? But then again I know that somehow I will find a way to lift myself higher and higher. So I can see more and more light. One day I will be overwhelmed by the light that I can clearly see everything. I will be able to see life. This thought is what keeps me going, keeps me concentrated, keeps me trying to continue to find that way to creep up and creep up higher and higher, where light becomes my friend and not just some fairy tale for me. I will not give up on life I will though continue to fight, fight and fight and fight and not give up. Even if I get knocked down, I must fight. I am fighting myself because this depression comes from within, but I will overcome, I will win. I know this all sounded kind of strange. I guess it is just really an analogy for how I see depression. I hope it is something that some of you may be able to relate to. Jennifer |
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#2
Feb 06, 2008, 08:25 PM
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((((((jennifer1084)))))) I don't even get up in a chair, I'm in bed. I hope you feel better soon.
__________________
I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
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#3
Feb 07, 2008, 02:24 AM
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not strange at all Jennifer..... wishing you peace and happiness...
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#4
Feb 07, 2008, 12:00 PM
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Thanks for sharing that Jennifer.
Cyran0
__________________
My blog: http://cyran0.psychcentral.net/ Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse. Meds: Zoloft, Lorazapam, Coffee, Cigarettes "I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone." -Cyrano de Bergerac |
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#5
Feb 07, 2008, 01:37 PM
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yeah I just thought I would share what it means to me in a more abstract relationship kind of way. I was visualizing myself the whole time writing that last post and well it really made sense for me. It still does. Does anyone else feel this way or what is it like for you?
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#6
Feb 07, 2008, 02:36 PM
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When I'm severely depressed, the thing that scares me most is that I do not even concider my loved ones, I'm so wrapped up in my own misery that I'm not able to see that my loved ones are hurting with me. I never ever want to be in that place again.
You have such a good attitude! You will win, and I hope the battle is over very soon.
__________________
I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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