[Rose76]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

Sometimes it seems like everyone hates me. People mock me and sometimes it seems cruel and mean-spirited. Someone said I'm not their type and when I asked why they said it's because they like intelligent people. And that just sets me off on a downward spiral of negative thoughts, about how I'm not only stupid but lazy and ugly too, and I've never accomplished anything in life, and I have no redeeming qualities or features. Then people mock me for getting emotional but that only makes it worse. It's hard to go through life realizing no one has ever wanted or desired you, they've only ever been stuck with you, that you've always been a burden and nothing more.

When people make insulting remarks, it says more about them than it does about you. To say you're not their type because they only like intelligent people shows that person to be kind of a jerk themself. You don't have to buy into an opinion like that. Don't allow others to lead you to foolish conclusions. From your well written post it is clear that you have normal intelligence.

[Rose76]

I'm doing fairly okay in staying out of the dark pit. Been sleeping good and keeping up with my housework.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

Sometimes it seems like everyone hates me. People mock me and sometimes it seems cruel and mean-spirited. Someone said I'm not their type and when I asked why they said it's because they like intelligent people. And that just sets me off on a downward spiral of negative thoughts, about how I'm not only stupid but lazy and ugly too, and I've never accomplished anything in life, and I have no redeeming qualities or features. Then people mock me for getting emotional but that only makes it worse. It's hard to go through life realizing no one has ever wanted or desired you, they've only ever been stuck with you, that you've always been a burden and nothing more.

I feel like this as well

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I feel like this as well

I was talking about this to my gp last week, when i said i would not seek treatment if i had cancer. He goes, but your so bubbly! Its a defense, isnt it? Look im laughing, please dont unalive me, i wont bother you, i agree with you.

Its like that meme, you had one job. Our parents had one job, just be effin nice to us. It wasnt something they could pass off to someone else. Once those brain synapses are cut short from lack of attention and care, they dont grow back and we are stuck here. Observers, participants as much as we can manage.

[3rd rock]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Its like that meme, you had one job. Our parents had one job, just be effin nice to us. It wasnt something they could pass off to someone else. Once those brain synapses are cut short from lack of attention and care, they dont grow back and we are stuck here. Observers, participants as much as we can manage.

I think you're exactly right. If you have a difficult childhood then your mind forms in abnormal ways, resulting in mental illness later in life and the inability to manage things like relationships in ways that everyone else can. I had parents who were divorced and who fought bitterly over me and my sister, and both tried to manipulate us against the other. It's only as an adult that I've realized how this resulted in my inability to seek and maintain healthy, functioning relationships, and in turn mental illnesses like persistent depression. I'm still coming to terms with this. I don't know if I'll ever overcome it.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by unaluna

I was talking about this to my gp last week, when i said i would not seek treatment if i had cancer. He goes, but your so bubbly! Its a defense, isnt it? Look im laughing, please dont unalive me, i wont bother you, i agree with you.

Its like that meme, you had one job. Our parents had one job, just be effin nice to us. It wasnt something they could pass off to someone else. Once those brain synapses are cut short from lack of attention and care, they dont grow back and we are stuck here. Observers, participants as much as we can manage.

I believe yt. Sometimes we just need a sense of humor.

[Rose76]

I'm still managing to stay out of the dark pit, but just barely. Today got very stressful. I don't seem to be handling stress well.