[3rd rock]

Some good news. There's been a development in my case with my employer, and I may be returning to work as soon as Monday the 16th. That specific date may be unlikely, but at least it gives me a concrete date to look forward to, instead of just having to look into an indefinite future. Besides that, I'm working on my writing and trying to go for walks, although the rainy winters around here make walks substantially less pleasant than in the summer. I'm working on my writing, although progress is inconsistent.

[3rd rock]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I have been researching reasons why I am going through depression before one of my sisters came over and started talking down to me

People who've never had it can never really understand in a personal, visceral way how it feels like. It's an insidious disease that destroys lives but you can never 'get it' from just reading about it or even listening to someone talk about their experiences with it.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

People who've never had it can never really understand in a personal, visceral way how it feels like. It's an insidious disease that destroys lives but you can never 'get it' from just reading about it or even listening to someone talk about their experiences with it.

so true

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

Some good news. There's been a development in my case with my employer, and I may be returning to work as soon as Monday the 16th. That specific date may be unlikely, but at least it gives me a concrete date to look forward to, instead of just having to look into an indefinite future. Besides that, I'm working on my writing and trying to go for walks, although the rainy winters around here make walks substantially less pleasant than in the summer. I'm working on my writing, although progress is inconsistent.

that amazing : yahoo:

[Rose76]

Been in a great mood all day, finishing trimming my tree and putting up other stuff. It's looking quite nice. I've listened to the Christmas records my father bought when I was a little kid. Good songs always perk me up.

[Deejay14]

Awesome Rose Keep moving a little bit everyday! Enjoy the music and decos!

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

People who've never had it can never really understand in a personal, visceral way how it feels like. It's an insidious disease that destroys lives but you can never 'get it' from just reading about it or even listening to someone talk about their experiences with it.

I agree. I joined this site because a dear person in my life has depression. So it gives me some insight.

[Rose76]

Still decorating. I don't work as fast as I used to. Plus, I take a lot of breaks. Mainly, I'm ok for now.

[Buffy01]

I made some bad choices with good intentions today had my niece been so horrible to me today : and if I haven’t felt like :: sadgirl:: redeyes: crying today.

[JaneOnceMore]

@Rose76:

Pleased to meet you! I feel blue in the daytime too and start feeling better about 4:00pm. I wish it was earlier too.

[Rose76]

Still having a hard time getting up and going at a decent hour. I usually have a light breakfast at about 8:30 a.m. Then I get back in bed, planning to read for awhile and watch news on my bedroom TV. I tell myself that I'll just stay in bed until my apartment warms up. Then I end up staying in my bedroom for a few hours. It's ridiculous. I'm not really having much depression. It seems to be a kind of laziness that I wake up with. The bed just feels so wonderful in the morning.

My Christmas stuff is up. Now the storage boxes are strewn all over the place. When I finally get those boxes put in my storage closet, I won't be waking up to messiness. Everything seems to take me forever to finish. I take too many rest breaks, where I go online and lose track of time. Overcoming that habit will be my New Year's resolution.

[Buffy01]

I been feeling depressed especially lately and if I could just understand why I feel depressed and what it is about me that feels worthless : sadhug: perhaps I can figure out what to do to feel better.

[Rose76]

I'm doing okay. Mailed Christmas presents today. Already sent out my Xmas cards. I really think I'll be alright this Christmas, even though I'll be alone. That old, black dog of depression follows me still, but I'm managing to keep a good distance ahead of it.

I hope all of you are finding some joy during this holiday season.

[3rd rock]

It's looking like my return to work is imminent. The company has come around and the union has ensured that my rights are protected. I'm looking forward to it, although I'm nervous about it at the same time. I'm still unsure what to tell my coworkers; I could either tell them I've simply been off on medical leave and leave it at that, or I could be fully honest about the nature of the illness. I'll take some more time to think about it.

[nonightowl]

Although I don't have the diagnosis of depression, many posts in this thread resonate with me anyway. So I follow along. And I find it more supportive than other "check in" threads on here. Some haven't had any posts in months or years in some cases.

The member who started this thread has deleted his account and I miss him.

[Rose76]

Yesterday was a good day for me. Got a lot done. Today is starting off well. I feel secure that I'm not going to unravel as Christmas gets nearer.

[Buffy01]

I wish that I could snap out of my depression and just be happy

[Rose76]

I've been down today. Still in pajamas. No energy or interest in getting done what I should be doing.

[3rd rock]

I returned to work this week. Since I've been back, there was a particular co-worker I've always liked to talk sports with. This time, we discussed our favorite team, and the recent leave of absence one player took for personal reasons. Some have speculated that this was due to mental illness. When discussing this with my co-worker, he made derogatory remarks about persons with mental illness that I won't repeat here. He doesn't know I have an extensive history of mental health struggles. His derogatory remarks towards those who suffer from mental illness generally really bothered me, although I didn't let it show. It still bothers me, because I considered it personally insulting. And that just reinforces negative thoughts in my own mind. I'll try to do better and not let it get to me.

[NovaBlaze]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

It still bothers me, because I considered it personally insulting. And that just reinforces negative thoughts in my own mind. I'll try to do better and not let it get to me.

It’s hard not to take things like this personally. I used to come across this a lot at work, but my last organisation put a lot of effort into mental health awareness and support, so attitudes were beginning to change.

It’s like everything in life, until you’ve experienced it yourself it’s all too easy to be dismissive and lacking in compassion.

Given the number of people who will suffer from poor mental health over their lifespan, i do struggle a bit with people who have a lack of understanding. Even if people haven’t suffered directly, it’s unusual not to be aware of a friend of family member who is suffering.

Edit: Sometimes the derogatory response can be mis-directed anger - especially if it’s an employee who is unhappy with the organisation they are working for. Maybe just looking for something to moan about. I know that doesn’t excuse the behaviour, but it might take the personal sting out of it if this is the case.

[Buffy01]

I am seeking out what id making me feel depressed all the time

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by NovaBlaze

snip:
It’s like everything in life, until you’ve experienced it yourself it’s all too easy to be dismissive and lacking in compassion.

This is so true. An example is how a neighbor and I mentioned the guy in a wheelchair in the building who really would have been put out during the elevator being out for months last year. She said it’s his own fault and he should “just get a nurse and the state will pay for it.” I merely said it’s not that simple.

I know from both my experiences and those of a dear friend that the government is out of touch. They make it very difficult to even qualify and most people get rejected. They demand documents people may not have, under a tight deadline. The websites are not user friendly. And even though he’s in a wheelchair his income may be “too high” to qualify since they set the bar VERY low. I also said to her we don’t know the man.

A friend got rejected for disability and had to get a lawyer to appeal! A long and demoralizing process.

Somewhere I heard experience is the best teacher. Unless she or someone she knows personally deals with government programs, she won’t get it. And hopefully she’ll never have to.

———
Sent from my iPhone

[Rose76]

Yesterday went well. I just have to not give up.

[Buffy01]

I feel like my grief is getting the best of me

[Rose76]

No get-up-and-go in me today. Not really depressed. Wanting to do very little.