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#1
Feb 09, 2008, 04:30 PM
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Everything I think about, eventually leads me to think of something that depresses me. This truly is no exaggeration. I look at my cats & think how much I love them & it turns into when one of them got seriously ill, or how devastated I was when I lost one, & how I can't deal with that again. I create something that I think for a moment is nice, but then I look at someone else's work & now mine is garbage. I stand in front of my mirror in absolute amazement at how ugly I am. God.....it goes on & on. Never Stops. I believe my suicidal ideation comes from just wanting things to stop as opposed to wanting to kill myself. I just want it to stop.
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#2
Feb 09, 2008, 04:41 PM
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Stay "present" and things can be easier. When we wander back to memories or forward into the unknown future we can get in all sorts of negative stuff, anywhere our imagination wants to go! Stay with what is. What do you want now? Find some little thing that would comfort and go "get" it. Then work on the next thing. It's the enjoyment of creating that feels good, not comparing the finished picture with the Sistine and what Michelangelo painted! There's no way your body "should" look; it is what it is at the moment and it's working hard so you can breathe, move, create, imagine, feel, see, hear, touch, etc. It's a wonderful body. Think how well you'd do if you were turned into a body and had to cope with how we treat it? Do you like when others call you names and "hate" you? Do you put down other people? Then how can you do that to yourself?
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#3
Feb 09, 2008, 05:13 PM
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Sage advice. Staying present is something for me to work on for sure. I discovered a short while ago, that i'm an abuser. My victim is myself. I think I picked up, where others left off. Thanks for the support Perna.
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#4
Feb 09, 2008, 05:19 PM
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Would be good if I could practice what I preach :-) I am 115 pounds overweight and not so shapely at 57 as I was at 27 and am getting up there to where I worry about old age, probably my #1 anxiety these days.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#5
Feb 10, 2008, 11:24 AM
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__________________
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#6
Feb 11, 2008, 12:42 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Fuzzybear said: </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Thx fuzzy |
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#7
Feb 11, 2008, 05:19 PM
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There are books about "Self Talk" that talk about watching what we tell ourselves. I've noticed that I get a song stuck in my head when I'm trying to block out something unpleasant.
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#8
Feb 12, 2008, 02:32 PM
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Thanks 4 the advice. i just don't have the presence of mind to be doing any reading right now. however, if that changes i'll definitely look into that. thx.C
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