[starfishblue]

So, I spent 8 days in the hospital to find out I have Multiple Sclerosis on top of depression. I think all the negativity in my life is manifesting itself in illness. It is time for me to change my life for the better and stop living my life in conformity with everyone else's desires (employer, mother, etc). Problem is, I don't know how to make that happen. "Leap of faith" - but, where do I leap?
I'm not having a good day and am bummed out about my life's choices - obviously I haven't made good ones.
I don't know what to do to help myself.

[nowheretorun]

hi starfishblue... lists always helped me to sort things out.. can you make a list with two columns? one column put the things you want to happen.. in the other.. you can put things that have happened that you dont want to happen again..

sometimes writing things out and seeing them in black and white gives thoughts that little extra bit of concreteness and deepens our commitment to our goals..

hope this helps?

[RozG]

Hi starfish...

...sorry to here you've been diagnosed with MS on top all your other worries.

i'm no expert at giving advice but i also have problems with feeling i always have to conform to everyone elses needs and wishes, so...

here's all i can say to you...

...you have to start imo by telling yourself over and over that you have as much worth and rights as anyone else. keep telling yourself it numerous times a day til you believe it. also remind yourself that...as a rule...ppl who have problems asserting theirselves have those probs because they're very caring ppl and don't want to hurt other peoples feelings...this means you are DEFINITELY worth the effort it will take to get your confidence levels up and your depression down.

i'm sorry this is all i have for you but hang in there...someone will come along soon with better advice.

take gentle care of yourself.

kj



p.s. see nowheretorun already replied b4 i'd even finished this reply.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( starfishblue ))))))))))))))

[(JD)]

Go to the www.NMSS.org site. From there you can sign up with your local MS society. ((hugs)) The support one receives through this organization is like no other, once you find the group that suits you best.

We all make the choices we think are best for us at the time. You can always correct your thinking and choices, through education especially.

What you will find is that there are many ways to help you feel better, and keep going and doing those things you enjoy. You might not be able to do them at the pace you have been, but you will learn trade offs that give you enjoyment.

I don't have MS, but only one lesion due to the accident I have a verterbrae chewing into my spinal cord. The MS society took me under their wing anyway, as I have all the same symptoms of MS. The trip I took last week was with a loaner motorchair from the local society.

You will gain the support you need to say NO to anyone who doesn't understand your limitations. First though, you need to find what those limitations are for yourself. AND remember, you are allowed to change them at any time, so if you try something this week and decide next week you can't, you don't let a family member chide you into it because they think you are faking.

There is life with MS! New drugs and solutions are being found all the time! Hang in there with us!

[starfishblue]

Hi nowheretorun,
Yes, your insight helps. I've been putting off making a list - and then when I sit down to do it, I draw a blank. I guess it is all the stress right now. I'm going to put a pad of paper on the table and write at least one thing a day. Thank you for motivating me.

[starfishblue]

Thanks KJ. I'm not used to putting me first. And, I know you are right. I'm going to try - harder - to do just that.

[ziggy1]

Yes Keeping a list or a journal helps me alot these days.

Sorry to hear about your MS starfish...I'm sure it didn't

help the depression.....Take care....

[starfishblue]

{{{{{{{Fuzzybear}}}}}}}}}
Thank you.

[starfishblue]

Thanks Sky. I have contacted NMSS and will be attending a monthly meeting in my neighborhood later this month. They mailed me a whole packet of information. I guess I'm in shock. It is all very new and very overwhelming at this time. It is just something I didn't need - but, then again, who does need it? Thank you for all your support, and I will stick around.