[puckyjan56]

As usual and as I have said many times, I'm alone on the week-ends. Everyone is w/family and as I just found out my Mom, sister Kay went over to my sister's Nancy's home to visit. Nancy's grandaughters were there. This happenes alot but I had no one to talk to and I called Mom and asked how her day went and she told me. I immediately started crying and I told her that I was sorry I called her and upset her. I am so tired of being the one to take care of Mama's needs during the week and on the week-ends the other 2 come in for fun time. I realize they work during the week. I'm upset because I'm never included in the fun part. No one even thinks to ask. What the s____? Am I just a pile of dog poop you just step in and scrap off your feet? I am so depressed and have can get no one on the phone. My son was busy and no one else is home. Why is this happening to me? why why i'm a nice person and i would never intently hurt anyone. i would give away my last dollar if someone else needed it. i offer my bed for guests and i offer to cook and i send a lot of cards to people and i feel like i'm getting the raw end of the deal. i feel raw, like my nerves have no protection. why has my life ended up this way? why did my illness drive my husband away and friends and family? no one knows my mind now. everyone thinks i'm a nut and strange. i use to think i was perfect. i never saw the gray areas. i followed the rules, i came in to work on time, i always wore my name badge where it could been seen. i was always very organized and now all that is gone. i feel like an empty shell of the person i use to be. i used to be a mother, wife, employee, sang in church choir and served on a couple of church committes and that is gone too. i always say the wrong thing and endup paying for it. my mind is mush and the brain cells have quit firing. i'm a big fat slug and i wish, just wish i would fall into a lid of salt. poof.gone

[Doh2007]

That really sucks!

[I_miss_my_kitty]

I'm sure you're a good person.