[Kiya]

i admit it. i'm back in depression again. a state i've never handled well and don't know what to do with. the only thing i want to do is sit in the window when the sun's there. if no sun, then stay in bed.
i see the dr on mon but chances are i won't say anything - what's to say?
k

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((( kiya ))))))))))))

[Cyran0]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Kiya said:
what's to say?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I'd go with, "I'm depressed." Everything will be Q&A after that.

Cyran0

[Pseudonym]

Maybe it's YOU causing the sun to come out? Ever think of that?!

I always found it was worth just being flatout up front with the doctor. They'll know what to say, like Cyran0 says. Don't be afraid to get your money's worth, k? If nothing happens, and you want to go back to bed, well, that's fine too. Just keep us posted either way so we can cheer you on.

*multiple sunny hugs*

[Christina86]

((((((((((Kiya)))))))))))

Maybe print out the post here? Hope your appt goes well.

[Kiya]

k (((((((((((all))))))))))))
ty

[Kiya]

One day this week was a bit better, but i'm back in the trenches. See dr tomorrow. T is encouraging me to tell dr "what i have been experiencing" (with depression, sense of out of control, si, and internal sense of vertigo). I think i may need to write all this out cuz i soooo won't remember it by tomorrow with the panic that drs bring me.

here's hoping i can do this....

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((((((Kiya))))))))))))))))))))) I hope your doctor visit goes well.

BB

[Kiya]

(((((((((bbear))))))))))))

Seeing MD was fine *whew*- I truly love her and her ability to be so passionate and caring about everything. I wrote everything down for her knowing i'd forget everything or be censored so she did ask to see the SI. She seems to not have the same restraints that other dr's have... when she saw the cuts, she grabbed my arm toward her. On anyone else, this would have triggered the system - but she just cracks me up! I can't explain it.

She is starting me on Lexapro (10mg a day) for 3 months in conjunction with 5HTP (100mg/day) and AdreCor and ExcitaPlus, and the Tyrosine spray for my dopamine levels. I forgot to ask her about the taurine and theanine I take. I think she wants me to continue... She also said that when I go to the dentist she'll prescribe me an anti-anxiety so i can get through it.

The lab tech did see my arm when she took my blood pressure (though I tried hard to get her to not see) but didn't say anything. Proir to that she praised me on how much better I am doing with blood draws (no more crying and shaking).

MD told me the office is moving and that she will actually only spend 2 days there and 2 days at the clinic where my PsyD is at "and so we can all sit together and support you!!" ...um...yiipes? that is still being processed through the system - you know how that goes... brings up a good deal of stress, fear, panic... old tapes being played. so i am writing down affermations that i am ok with change and that i can accept this process. accepting that people care about me, working to understand/acknowledge that it is a good thing.
takes time - i am glad i have 1.5 months prior knowledge oh she also is looking into having me also work with a DID/MPD specialist that she knows so that I have a lot of support in all aspects of my life. Ironically, I didn't bring that up to her, but i had been thinking the same thing since my PsyD doesn't know a thing about DID/MPD.

Wow - i'm spinning.... a lot of info to process in a short time. On one hand it is pretty scary to think about/work with so many dr's (since that's always been a big phobia of mine) and on the other hand i've never trusted any one as much as these two ladies.

It feels paradoxical to have such conflicting emotions all in me at once. Almost overwhelming. *breathing*.
Long post - sorry!

[Christina86]

((((((((Kiya)))))))))) yay for good appts!

I hate getting my blood drawn... don't really like needles. But glad it went better for you this time around!

Hope the meds and everything work out for you

[bipolar_bear]

What an awesome visit. It sounds like you are getting a great support system. Wow! It is so important to have people you like and trust. I am so glad you have found them. It sounds like a great addition to find someone who specializes in DID to add to the team. I am so glad you are finding such good people to help you heal.

BB

[Kiya]

(((((((bbear)))))))
do you think it's natural to be a little freaked out too?

[bipolar_bear]

yes, I can see where you may feel freaked out over everything. It is some big changes and it may take a little time to adjust. Even good change can be scary.

BB

[purplebutterfly]

(((Kiya)))

[Kiya]

((((((bbear))))))))
(((((butterfly))))))

right...even good change can be scary.... i have t tonight... we have a LOT to talk about. Then she goes on vacation next week.