[jenn1975]

Well, I'm new here, and I'm making myself reach out and talk a bit. I've always had problems with depression, when I was in my 20's I saw a doctor who put me on Paxil, I quit taking it because I told myself "Meds Will Not Fix Me, I just need to be a stronger person!" Yeah, OK! Well, now a doctor put me on Celexa, I do not know how to feel. I'm feeling the same way again, want to not take meds because I should be stronger. It's almost like when I start to feel a bit more controlled, I feel like I should be fine on my own. Some strange form of denial? Is this common?

[Perna]

Hi, jenn, welcome to PsychCentral (PC).

Yes, what you describe is quite common. Maybe you could try combining the med with seeing a counselor/therapist. That can help with dealing with the negative feelings and "shoulds" (be stronger :-) and help orient you and getting you feeling better.

[DePressMe]

Hi Jenn,

Yes, I think it is common for people to go on and off their psych meds. I think it has to do with acceptance of your mental illness. It is hard to accept that we have these issues--nobody wants them.

I have gone on and off my meds numerous times. Each time thinking I would be fine without them. But, I have been on a long stretch of taking them and I am much healthier and happier.

Talking with somebody about this is a good idea.

[Pseudonym]

I like to think of them as a boost, rather than a necessity. Just bringing me up to a place where I have a fighting chance. But I'd like to throw my $.04 in with the others, it's common, it can be a source of shame, and it can be helpful to talk it out.

I don't remember if I said this already, but welcome. =)

[splitimage]

I really resisted going on meds at first, because I thought "oh no it confirms that I'm mentally ill" And when I went on anti-psychotics I really resisted it. But they've made such a huge difference in my life, that now I can't imagine life without meds. I was asked recently if I could ever envision a life without medication, and for me the answer unfortunately is probably no, becasue even when on meds, I can go into depressive episodes. The meds just keep me at a a stable enough level to be able to do therapy and take a few concrete steps towards making my life better. I do find however that the combination of meds and therapy works best for me.

--splitimage

[foreverlost]

The reality is that you are taking meds for a biological problem, just as if you had diabetes or high blood pressure. I wish people would understand that mental disease has nothing to do with weakness. I feel it too, even though, objectively, I know better. But, we are so engrained with that idea, which is certainly promoted by media and insurance and disability policy discrimination, and the unwitting judgments of our well-meaning loved ones...I had really hoped things had improved since I first starting having problems 30 years ago, but, there is still an awful lot of stigma associated with mental health. At this point, I think you should do whatever you can, under a dr.'s care, and hopefully a therapist, to help yourself, whether or not that involves meds and quit feeling quility about it, if you can.

[puckyjan56]

foreverlost.you hit the nail on the head...thanks pj56

[jenn1975]

Thanx All, I'm dealing. Been to see my new doc and we talked a lot. I am going to keep doing this because I see results and I'm gonna give myself a chance this time!

[numbnut]

Hi,
I'm new to al of this and your posting was what I needed to see- I feel the same way. I don't want to have to take medication but I know its for the best, it really helps to know I'm not alone.

[Fuzzybear]

Welcome Jenn, I understand how you feel
(I take paxil, grrrrrr)