[nightdream]

Soon I will be saying good bye to my mother, 2 sisters and 5 brothers. I am making my move and walking out of their life forever. This is hard for me to do but it is also hard for me to stay in contact with them as they are destroying me, abusing me, killing me bit by bit. So very hard emotionally to do, so very hard.

Thank you for reading this.
nightdream

[Wants2Fly]

So, Nightdream, do you feel like "telling all," as the tabloid shows say. Have you found another place to live? Have you broken the news about your leaving? Are you going to kind of sneak away? Will you call later?

Are you a little bit excited about this bold move? Proud of yourself? Looking forward to a better future?

So glad you are taking positive actions to take care of yourself.

[(JD)]

Wow this is a tough decision! But it can work out in your favor, magnified. While you think it is forever, you can always change your mind in the future, when you are stronger ... but it isn't necessary.

Yes, I'm curious to as to how you made the moving plans and what is good and not so good about it all.

[nightdream]

I have to leave or I will die. I will kill myself sure as I'm writing this. I can't take it anymore.

I am sneaking out, nobody knows about my plan or they will not let me go. I am paying rent where I live now and for the last 2 months I have been paying rent in another place. I'm moving my stuff slowly, quietly. I am not planning to leave any address or phone number behind me. No contact. And I'm never coming back. I'm closing the door and losing the key.

If I'm proud of what I'm doing? Not at all. I hate myself to the center of my very soul. I feel guilty all the time. I feel guilty for being alive. I have been teach to shut up, keep my feelings to myself, my feelings were not important, there was other things more important then this. I have learned very well. And still today my feelings are not important while I'm dying inside.

I don't know what will happen when I will be moved. I do not know if I will be ok or not and I do not care. I just know I have to go away.

Thank you for your caring.
nightdream

[Wants2Fly]

Nightdream, if this is tearing you up so much, is there anything you can do to make your escape final, sooner. Perhaps get a friend to help you move at a time when most people in the household are gone, so you have some support if there is a confrontation.

I wish you many blessings with this.

[nightdream]

Thank you and I love you all. I will be ok.

Your kindness and caring has touch me!

Many hugs to all of you!
nightdream

[(JD)]

OK. Do what you think is best for you. Try not to beat yourself up over your decision, ok? Be sure to leave them some kind of note once you are gone, so they don't call the police and have some kind of a search for you (even though it sounds like they might not notice for a long time ) I gather you will still be able to come on site with us...

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((((((nightdream))))))))))))))))))))
I am glad you've found somewhere to go hun... I have been worried about you. I hope this works out for you. Remember we are always here for you,

With love,
Fuzzy

[nightdream]

So many questions with no answers always dancing in my mind. Why, why and why are they abusive? What do I do wrong?People that I'm willing to share my kindness with, give them my love. I can only shake my head because I have no answers.

I am an adult and I have live through a lot, seen a lot and I was always willing to try and try.

I have no answer to the "Why".

I thank you all so very much for being here for me, for your support, kindness, friendship. I know you are all going through a lot and I really do appreciate each of you for giving me your time and your caring.

Take good care of yourself!
With love always
nightdream