very down today ......

I think i know why. My daughter and i have een a bit argumentative recently. She and her b/f have been bickering ... she is going away next Sunday for the summer to live by the sea with Tonys mum and dad which is great for her .... she is going to get a summer job before she goes to university. I am in one way sad she is going, andin another way relieved ecause of all the stuff that's been going on. Ive said this before, we livein a small house and 5adults in it is not an ideal situation, her b/f stays with us at weekends as they both work locally.

Right now i am also struggling with hubby.... i really need support and affection and love right now. He is getting better but says he has never been the 'toucy feely' type and finds it hard to say he loves me. He is getting better, maybe i am too demanding or something, but surely a hug and 'I love you' is not so hard if you try? my son is like me andis always asking me if i'm ok andgiving me a cuddle which is awesome, he is very like me in many ways ..... i just find each day right now so hard to cope with .....

I am a very insecure person and feel so lonely. I have great friends IRL and here, but i just have this overwhelming need to be looked after and fussed over. Sounds pathetic doesn't it ....

i feel pathetic right now, like some spoiled child spitting her dummy out.

sorry to go on ...... Jx

((((((((((((((((((JinnyAnn))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry you're down. Any sort of change is hard, and arguments are never fun. I don't think you're asking for too much from your husband, but perhaps men are sometimes wired differently so they don't see expressing affection like that to be as necessary? Still painful, even if he expresses that he loves you in other ways.

(((((((((((((((Christina)))))))))))))))))

he is fairly moody .... then so am i ...... sometimesi just wish hewould come right up tome and hold me and rock me a little ya know??????

Jin oxoxoxoxo

((((((((((((((( jinny ))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))

I don't think you ever were the spoilt child spitting her dummy out. The child within you is asking for the love and understanding that she never got.

Be gentle with yourself (((((((((((((( jinnyann ))))))))))))))

ty ((((((((((((((((pegasus))))))))))))))))

maybe you're right..... sometimes life seems incredibly hard, like right now ..... thankyou my friend, Jx

You're starved emotionally from early days in life and when dealing with changes and therapy like you're doing right now... the longing to be taken care of and loved increases... I would say.

That feeling of loneliness... I feel it too right now and it's really eating at me. Please know I care - always. One day at a time... honey...

(((((((((( jinny )))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((Nina)))))))))))))friends forever, i know you are struggling too, thinking of you, thankyou dear one.

love, care and hugs, Kerry xoxoxoxoxoxo

(((((jinny)))))

I'm sorry to hear you're so down. As everyone else seems to agree, it's perfectly natural to want to be loved and taken care of emotionally. Back here at home (away from Uni for the summer), I really start to realize how emotionally desolate and how devoid of nurturance this environment is.

As for your husband, I don't think are "wired" (in a biological sense) drastically differently than women; rather, Western society in general seems to discourage the expression of emotions from men, so you could say men are "programmed" differently. It's not the hardware that's too blame, but rather the software. (Gender Studies is one of my majors, and that which I intend to pursue in graduate school in a bit over a year, so sorry if this sounds preachy ). I'm glad to hear that your son is more openly affectionate, though.

Will you be able to see your daughter before she goes to Uni? It's tough fighting with those closest to us, but maybe the time apart will be beneficial to your relationship.

I hope you're feeling bit better.

Take care,



J

((((((((((((((((((((jinnyann)))))))))))))))))))))))))

BIG BIG BIG hugs!!!!!!!!!!!

i know exactly how you feel wanting to be looked after and cared for. that's not pathetic at all!!!

take care!

thankyou everyone for the wonderful replies, yes i will get to see her a few times before Uni, we are going on holiday down to where she is staying and then to a music festival .... then she is home foraweek or two before uni.... i think you're right, ourrelationship will improve while we're apart, ut i will still miss her, i'm used to her being here, knowing she is safe. I suppose you are right about how males are (not all males)

thanks for the replies,Kerry xoxoxoxoxoxo

Hey jin, sorry you are having tough times.

I am going through the same thing. first he asked for a divorce then wanted to make it work.

However I cannot get an i love you or hug out of him and you would think it would be easy if he really loves you/me but he said those very same words to ME.

take care

colleen

(((jinnyann)))

Sending you big hugs to feel a bit better


Dee

(((jinnyann)))

patience is virtue.....possess it if you can.

I hope that as the summer progresses, you are calmer, more peaceful, and there are sweet reconnects with the sensitive, loving, enthusiastic hubby who loves you, and later, renewal with the rest of the crew.

Bless your endeavors Kerry & Hubby

love, peace and harmony,
night


oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo <font color="purple"> </font>

thankyou all for being such wonderful people ..... i know my hubby struggles with theaffection thing.... he shows he loves me in other ways .... i should be glad i have someone who puts up with me really i know i am hard to live with, poor love, i do give him tlc tho ...... my daughter, well, she will change when she gets to Uni, i think she may appreciate us a little more when she has no lifts at the end of a hard day, not that i want her to suffer, i just think she thinks life will be so easy and it wont . i know i have to let go .... i'll shut up boring everyone now ...... i'm in a funny (wierd)mood ....

love, Kerry thankyou so much for all the hugs, backatya my dear friends ..... xoxoxoxoxoxo