[BlackTears]

The last two days were really ok for me and now im just pissed off and frustrated all over again. I work, I clean constantly, I cook dinner, I take care of my kids all the time( their mine imnot complaining about that) My husband does nothing to help me 8 years 2 kids and its just horrible and it isnt getting better its depressing me more im so unhappy and miserable. We fight everyday and its not a little fight he is so mean and cruel and everything is my fault and im all kinds of name and hes just mean. He dosnt help me clean and when I clean Ill go to work that night come home and its a mess!!!!!!!! He wont pick up after himself or the kids and he wont do dishes he does nothing...Im so tired of fighting and deep down I know this is killing my oldest child both children have been in this since they were born nothing changes between us nand nothing gets better. Im so weak though i know we need to seperate and everytime i pack me and the girls up and waste all that money to buy new things and rent a new place he never leaves me alone and I let him back..I just dont know what im suppose to do anymore. I try to tell him and he just thinks I want to be with someone else (not the case at all Im a messed up person I need to fix myself not worry about no new damn men)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So unhappy just so unhappy...

[nowheretorun]

keep breathing Black Tears... you are actively involved in your healing process... you know about slipping and stumbling and you seem like the kind to not let it pull you all the way down... it can change quickly... just keep breathing and believing... look for small but positive signs... with hope and determination they get larger and larger...

best to you always